


Felicity Smoak takes the hardest decision of her life

by MaryTagus



Series: Prompts and ramblings [43]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-04-25 08:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4953727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryTagus/pseuds/MaryTagus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver just found out he has a son. A son that called another man, father, only now that man died. Felicity is both happy for Oliver and a bit of a lost on how, where, she fits in Oliver and Connor’s lives. Watching Oliver confronted with the need to say farewell to his son makes her decide something that is going to shock Oliver to the core.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before Arrow came into my life I had a few TV Series that I watched and rewatched so many times. One of them was “Nikita” (The CW). The series has so many heartbreaking moments that it’s hard to chose which one is the most wrecking. Nevertheless, and after the pictures from the set of the crossover from yesterday (10/06/2015) one of the heart breaking scenes between Nikita and Michael came to mind.
> 
> Being that I totally can picture in my mind Felicity pulling a Nikita on Oliver I came up with this fan fic.

When Oliver decided to accompany Felicity to one of the STAR Labs Director’s funeral he never expected her to be there. Last time he saw Sandra he was leaving Jitters, with Felicity. He knew she lived in Central City, what he didn’t know was she was the deceased wife and had a kid.

“Oliver? Are you alright?” Felicity knew something was bothering him.

He forced himself to turn to her and smile “Yeah. I’m alright. Not fond of funerals.”

She smile back  “No one is. Except maybe the morticians.”

After the ceremony was over Oliver and Felicity walked to Sandra and her son to offer their condolences planning on leaving to STAR Labs after that.

As soon as Sandra saw him though, she started to cry even more, her sobbing became stronger and she hold him tight “Ollie. I’m so glad you came.”

“Sandra I’m so sorry.”

Felicity was surprised. Oliver hadn’t told her this woman was Sandra. She knew about Sandra. Oliver had told her about the baby she lost, their baby.

As he gently took a step back from Sandra’s embrace he turned to Felicity.

“May I present you my girlfriend, Felicity Smoak.”

She always loved when Oliver presented her as his girlfriend but now it had been especially appreciated.

“Felicity, Sandra.”

The two women exchange pleasantries and then Sandra present her son, Connor to them. Oliver complimented Connor with a smile and when the kid smile back Felicity felt all the blood draining from her, it was like seeing Oliver through a mirror, like a window to the past, they had the same smile.

Felicity glimpse at Sandra that was looking attentively to both Oliver and Connor. Suddenly she felt awkward, the outsider, she was the spare wheel that had no business being there. For Oliver she fought the need to run, to run away from here, from this situation.

The three of them were talking but Felicity wasn’t registering any of it she was just fixed on Sandra, who, albeit the sad moment, seemed, if not happy, at least getting there fast. At some point Sandra looked right at Felicity, blushed and turned her eyes away so fast Felicity was now sure. Connor was Oliver’s son.

“You are strangely quiet. Anything wrong?” They were at STAR Labs and he finally had a moment alone with her.

She couldn’t leave him in the dark but she also didn’t feel right about telling another person’s secret.

“Felicity? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m not the one that can tell you, Oliver.”

He look puzzled “What?”

“I think you should go back and talk to her, alone.”

“Sandra? What did she do?”

“Not saying anything else, Oliver. I can’t.”

As Felicity urged him to do he went to talk to Sandra. He didn’t know what to expect but it definitely wasn’t Sandra’s admission that she had never lost their son and that his kid was now sleeping in the next room after attending the funeral of the man he had called father since he was a baby.

“How could you do this, Sandra?”

“Ollie how could I not? You were a kid yourself, a bed hopper playboy, with no sense of responsibility. I needed… we needed someone that could provide for us, care for us, to always be there, you weren’t that, Ollie. Moira offered me a way out, I took it.”

His mother. He recall the day he told her about Sandra pregnancy, he was scared and searching for a way out of it.

“I’m different now. I would be a good father to him.”

Sandra smile “Yes, you are different. I can see that. But Connor has a father figure that he loved dearly, that he just lost, physically lost. I can’t take Charles from him completely. Not right now, Oliver.”

Oliver considered her words for a minute. He had to think about Connor first and his own needs second, Sandra was right. It was too soon.

He nodded in agreement “You’re right. But I won’t allow you to keep him away from me again.”

From that day forward, as Felicity went to STAR Labs, he went to Sandra’s house and be with Connor. He was totally smitten by his son. The kid was amazing. Coming back to Felicity, everyday he had new stories, new especial moments that he shared with his son and she smiled and was happy for him. It was just when she was alone knowing Oliver was at Sandra’s, with her and Connor, that she couldn’t help herself from considering where did she fit in? She loved Oliver with all her heart and soul, she would fight to death to ensure he was happy but was there a place for her on Oliver and Connor’s life?

They had been in Central City for a month when Thea called urging them to go back to Starling City. This time things looked pretty gruesome.

“I can’t Thea. Not yet. I need more time.”

It suddenly dawn on Felicity, he would always need more time, Connor was his son he needed to stay with his son. Oliver couldn’t leave Connor, Felicity wouldn’t allow that to happen, she knew how hard it was to be abandoned and she wasn’t going to let him do that to Connor.

She extended her hand asking for the phone. Oliver handed it to her cocking one eyebrow at her.

“Thea? It’s Felicity.”

“Hi. How are you?”

Not well.

“I know I’m not Oliver but I will be there tomorrow morning.”

She heard both Thea’s sigh of relief and Oliver protest.

“See you tomorrow Thea.”

As Felicity hang up Oliver spoke.

“Why did you do that? We can’t go back to Starling, not just yet.”

“We won’t, Oliver. I will.”

Suddenly he froze, the cold taking over his body like it did when he had to send her far away from him many months ago.  
“What do you mean?”

She sat as her legs were oblivious to the commands her brain was given them and had decided to follow her breaking heart.

“You have son, Oliver. It’s never going to be time enough. Connor needs his father and his mother…”

He really didn’t like where this was going. He saw her breathing heavily and clearly in pain.

“… I’m the spare wheel, Oliver.”

He keeled in front of her. His pain as real as hers.

“Don’t… Felicity, please don’t do this.”

“I know you, Oliver. I know your heart. If you go now you would be left with “what if ?” all your life. I love you too much to see you do that to yourself. And you love me too much to make this decision, so I’m making it for you. I’ll be leaving on the last train to Starling City.”

As he watched her disappear into the bedroom to organize her things he was torn. He wanted to go with her but he also wanted to stay with Connor.He understood her reasoning, his time with Connor would never be enough, leaving Connor would be making him lose another father and he just couldn’t do that.

Felicity carried  her bag out of the room while Oliver was still processing what she said slumped down on the couch. “I will take you.”

“No. Please, don’t.” she was putting on a brave face but she couldn’t bare saying goodbye to him at the station. “I love you, Oliver Queen.” She kissed him on the lips like he once did in Nanda Parbat and left the room.

Knowing Felicity had left Sandra invited Oliver to stay at her place. He knew she wanted them to become a real family but he just wanted to be with his son.

Every night he set himself in the living room couch, missing Felicity, dreaming about her. He thank Connor everyday for existing, he was the only solace he had.

It was almost 4 am a month after Felicity left when his phone rang “Thea?”

“Oliver we really need you.”

“What…” he was having a hard time focusing on her works “… happen?”

“Damian Darhk, happen. He’s still happening. We need to track him and the three of us are gravely outnumbered.”

His brain was starting to function.

“What do you mean three? Who left?”

“Wait? You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Felicity left.”

He was now fully awake.

“What do you mean left?”

“She’s not in Starling City anymore.”

“Where is she?”

“I thought you knew.”

He talked to Felicity by phone everyday but she had never told him where she was, he assumed she was in Starling.

“I don’t. I thought she was in Starling.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“Yes, we talk everyday, at least once. Having said that I never asked where she was and she never told me she was leaving Starling.”

“Well, that’s odd. She did leave about a fortnight ago.”

Where was she?

“I’ll be in Starling as soon as I can.”

Saying farewell to Connor was hard but the promised to call him everyday ensure Oliver that he would still be present in his son’s life.

“I never had a chance had I?”

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You, the new you, deserves to be happy. I’m the one who’s sorry for having pushed you to be more than just Connor’s father.”

“No chance of that, Sandra. I love Felicity.”

“I can see that now.”

He got on the train saying goodbye to Sandra and a smiling Connor.

As the train left Central City behind Oliver called Felicity.

“Oliver. How are you?”

“Where are you Felicity?”

He heard her inhale. The question had caught her by surprised.

“Somewhere safe.”

“Fe-li-ci-ty” it was a warning.

“It doesn’t matter, Oliver. You’re in Central City, I’m… travelling.”

“Don’t… you are better than that Felicity. We are better than that.”

He heard the pause, the total absence of sound

“I’m on my way home.”

“You are going to Starling?”

“Yes, I’m going home. Our home. I wish I would find you there.”

“You won’t, Oliver.”

He closed his eyes and inhale hard as his lungs were failing him.

“When will you be back?”

“I can’t be the one breaking up a family, Oliver. I can’t be the one responsible for Connor not to have his father with him.”

He want to tell her she was being silly. That he would always be there for Connor, always, that he was not her father but nothing seemed right.

“You’re my family. I love you. I need you Felicity.”

“I… I have to go.” he could heard the tears in her voice the same as he felt the tears pricking his eyes and threatening to came pouring down in a train full of strangers. He wanted Felicity back, he needed her back like he needed air and now he didn’t even knew where to start, how to get her back.


	2. Oliver Queen finds Felicity Smoak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unknown to Oliver Felicity can’t be at their home at Starling City only because she’s at the Hospital. Donna watched as she almost lost Felicity twice. Upon Felicity “request” she calls Oliver. Oliver only now he gets to understand why Felicity had been away from Starling City.

Felicity wanted to go to Oliver so much. Knowing he was going back to Starling City made her hopeful and, has she looked around the room she wished she could just run back. But she couldn’t.

“Ms Smoak you're awake.”

“My daily quota.” Felicity tried to smile at the nurse while she check the drip connected to her arm.

And every time she had those moments of consciousness she called Oliver. He was happy, so happy back in Central City, with Connor.

“Doctor Menendez will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you.” And after he left the nurse would came back in, with some drug in a syringe and she would fall asleep, again.

Felicity had lost count of the days. It looked like their were many days but that was maybe because she was bored and spent most of the time asleep.

Since things didn’t go as expected on her surgery they wanted her to rest and for them rest was sleep.

All in all she was thankful that everything happen when she was staying with Donna. Her mother came to see her everyday, since the start.

“Ms Smoak.”

The doctor had come in to do the regular tests.

“You are improving nicely.”

“When can I go home?”

He smile patronizingly.

“Too soon to consider that, Ms Smoak. For now you must do your best to rest. We want a full recovery.”

The nurse was early that day with the drug.

“I’m tired of sleeping.”

They both smile as the nurse push the drug into the dripper in her arm.

 

Donna came in as soon as the nurse signaled her.

“Mom…”

“Hi sweetheart.” her baby girl was already dozing off.

“Oliver...Oliver called.”

“He did?”

Normally Felicity was the one calling

“He’s home.”

“That’s great sweetheart. Did you tell him to come here?”

“I...I couldn’t… mom…” Felicity was already asleep.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. I can.”

There wasn’t anything that she wouldn’t do for her baby girl. She understood why Felicity left Central City leaving Oliver behind, his kid deserved to know him. For Felicity, Oliver had the right to decide his own path in life without being pressured. Donna had a hard time accepting the second part of this equation and, especially after all that had happened, she still didn’t accept it.

Donna took Felicity’s phone and called Oliver.

It didn’t take long until Oliver’s voice was heard.

“Felicity.”

“Oliver. It’s Donna.”

“Donna? Where’s Felicity?”

“She can’t talk right now.”

Donna didn’t knew Oliver enough but she was sure he heard him breathe a bit heavier.

“She’s asleep, Oliver.”

“But it’s…”

“The middle of the afternoon, yes. She’s at the hospital, Oliver.”

“What? What happen?”

“It’s better if she tells you herself, Oliver. Can you…”

“Where?”

“Vegas General.”

 

Oliver speed the Ducati as hard as he could. He hated not knowing what was going on. Donna didn’t sound like it was life or death but he had to see for himself.

“Felicity Smoak?”

“Surgery ward, room 806. Take the elevator…”

Oliver had the information he needed so he didn’t stick around to hear the rest of the explanation.

He took a brief moment to breath and to settle himself before opening the door.

It was the typical hospital room, mainly white colors all around. Colors that, right in that moment made her look even paler and she was pale and so thin, he was almost sure he could grab her waist with his hands and their fingers would touch.

He had prepared himself to see her asleep but it was shocking to see her so still, her breathing so soft it was almost imperceptible.

He heard the door opening but didn’t turn, he didn’t had the strength.

“Hello.”

The nurse went to the drip changing the serum bag. And only after that she focused on him and smiled.

“She’s doing better, much better. It’s all good news, finally.”

Oliver just couldn’t believe it. How could it be worse? He couldn’t even imagine it being worse than this. He went to pick a chair and sat, dropping his face in his hands fighting the best he could not to cry.

 

Donna came in later in the evening to find Oliver still oblivious to the world around him..

“Oliver.”

He reacted to her voice.

“She’s out of the woods now trust me.”

“Now?”

“I’m not going to sugar coated Oliver. We almost lost her. Twice.”

He felt the blood draining from his body and he was suddenly cold, so cold.

“That’s why she couldn’t go to you today.”

“How did you…”

“She asked me to call you.”

“I thought she didn’t get back because of me.”

“She couldn’t go, Oliver. They keep her drugged all the time, she only has a few minutes alone and awake everyday.”

And that answered on why, lately, she always call around the same hour of the day. And it dawn on him...

“Since when he’s she here, Donna?”

“Almost a week.”

Oliver shut his eyes in an effort to stop the pain.

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“I thought she did. Until a couple a days ago, when I entered the room and stumble on her talking to you over the phone.”

“What happen, Donna?”

“I would feel more comfortable if Felicity told you herself, Oliver.”

“You are going to leave me here without knowing anything?”

“There’s a part she doesn't remember. She was in cirurgy. It was a success until they were closing up. She started to bleed internally, something had gone wrong, they still don’t know what, and Felicity crashed. They were working on getting her back until they were almost giving up but my baby reacted.” Donna caress Felicity’s cheek “She got back but she was out for so long and lost so much blood they feared she wouldn’t recovered. But she did… I think that day she called you so very late it was almost the next day.”

He remembered the day, it was night and Connor was already asleep, when he noticed Felicity hadn’t called yet. He just thought it was a longer meeting or something like that. But then she called and he talked about the happy events of the day as he always did.

He always did, that was all he do, he talked about his day, the games he played with Connor the fun they had together. Never once she told anything about her day and he never asked. He never asked.

 

Donna and stop sharing any information and despair was taking over him. He wanted to talk to Felicity, he need to talk to Felicity. Donna was only telling him half the story, knowing that made him fear that rest was even worse.

“She’ll be okay, Oliver. My baby girl is strong. Come, you should sleep.”

“No. I’ll stay here.”

“Oliver. Don’t do this to yourself. She’s out cold until tomorrow it serves no purpose you staying here. Besides Felicity would never forgive me for leaving you here like this.”

Oliver was adamant. He would stay until Felicity woke up.

 

Felicity woke with the usual sudden movement. It was more like the end of the dose than waking up. She felt him there by her side. Donna had understood her ramblings, she had called him.

“Oliver?”

“I’m here.” he wanted to ask, the urgency of knowing only receded when he took her frailty in. Even her voice was softer and a bit draggy.

“Hi.” it was a relief to see her smile even if it was briefly “How’s Connor?”

“Good. Right now my only worry is you.”

“No need. I’m doing much better they tell me.”

“Why, Felicity? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to but then all the happiness was gone before it even existed.”

“Love, you are talking in riddles.”

“I lost it, Oliver. And you were so happy. Why should you stop being happy for something that was no more.”

He was starting to see past the confused riddles of the half drugged Felicity and it was tearing him apart.

“Good morning.” the nurse came in right on cue for a bad timing award from Oliver’s point of view.

“Is it morning?”

“It is.” as usual the nurse changed something in the buttons and left. Oliver could see it was the meds dosage.

“Felicity were you pregnant?”

She mumbled something almost incoherent only the word yes was more clearer.

“Felicity? Please.” But she was already out cold.

“Ectopic pregnancy, Oliver.” Donna answered his question clearer “It never had a chance. And it almost killed her.”

Oliver took Felicity's hand and squeezed tight.

“She felt so alone on that empty house of yours. Luckly Felicity decided to come and stay with me for a few days.” Donna took Felicity’s other hand “She missed my hugs I guess.” Donna’s hand caressed her baby girl's face. “She wasn’t feeling well, a dull abdominal pain, was bothering her. But she never told me about it though, until one day it wasn’t dull anymore. I brought her here, to the Hospital. She didn’t know she was pregnant and she was so happy when they told her. But then the all world came crumbling down, the embryo wasn’t where it supposed to be. They had to take it out or it could hurt her, inside, it could even kill her.”

“all the happiness was gone before it even existed”; “something that was no more” Felicity’s words made so much sense right now.

Oliver tried to swallow the knot that was constricting his throat only to understand it had taken over her all body.

“They schedule the surgery for the next day and admitted her here. But luck was definitely not with her as it all happen too fast that very same night. It was an emergency surgery and it didn’t go well.”

“Did they... fix it?” he had to ask. Even if it only matter that she was alive.

Donna smile “Yes they managed that. The fact she was already here made it easier for them.”

Oliver kissed Felicity’s hand. He was so close to losing her, so close.

“I won’t let you out of my sight ever again.” by now Donna was gone, off to work.

 

It was in the afternoon that Doctor Menendez entered the room.

“Hello? I don’t think we met?”

“Oliver”

“Ah You’re the one she calls everyday.” he smiled widely “Ms Smoak thinks I don’t know. But I keep myself outside everyday waiting for her to put the phone down. You always put a smile on her face and that always does wonders to any patient.”

Oliver glimpsed at Felicity “Not today.”

“No, not today. I had to get her dose up yesterday. She was agitated after you talked. Now I understand why.”

The doctor thought it was because he was on it’s way, Oliver let him.

“Any idea when she would be fully recovered?”

“I wouldn’t tell her, anxiety you know, but a few days I predict.”

Felicity woke up “I’m awake Doc.”

“Yes, you are, Ms Smoak.”

Oliver left Felicity, the Doctor and the Nurse alone, and grabbed some coffee. He desperately needed coffee. But he couldn’t leave her alone in that aseptic room, she had been alone for too much time already.

He got back into the room as soon as the doctor left.

“Hi”

“Hi” he sat back on the chair. She looked more awake and less frail in the afternoon “What were you thinking Felicity?”

He felt her eyes on him burning with unshed tears “Why should we both suffer for something that was only a dream? Something that wasn’t even real?”

She was only considering the baby.

“That’s not what I’m asking, Felicity. I almost lost you. Twice. And I wasn’t here.”

Felicity blinked. She was focusing on what they had lost she wasn’t considering what they could have lost.

“As sad at that makes me I know we will have other baby’s, Felicity. But I will never have another you.”

“Will we?”

“If we want them, yes, definitely.”

“What about Connor? And Sandra?”

“Connor is my son. He will always be my son and I will always be there for him. Sandra is his mother and our connection starts and stops there. Felicity, I love you.”

She wished she could move, she wished she could hold him, as it was the only signs where her smile, her happy tears and her words “I love you. Can you make the Doc let me leave? I am to go home, with you.”

“Patience, Felicity.” he answer with a smile. 


	3. The team finds out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity is still at the Hospital getting better.  
> Oliver his blaming himself for what's happening. A call to Thea and the Team takes an unexpected turn.  
> Donna takes it upon herself to take care of Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some requests for a new chapter. Thank you all for the comments.  
> Hope you all like it.

Felicity was asleep, again. Oliver had time to put things into perspective.

After 5 years of hell in the Island and then 3 years of hell like life in Starling City. Years he thought he was condemned to live alone, to die alone, undeserving of anything else, he was now facing a different reality.

And it was hard, hard to manage all that was going on at once.

When he went out for a coffee Oliver had called Connor, his son was happy to hear him just as much as Oliver was.

“When are you coming back?”

He froze. Oliver wanted to but couldn’t bare leave Felicity, alone, in this Hospital bed.

“Soon.” Oliver was hopeful this was true but quite aware that, maybe, it was a lie.

Then Connor talked about what he had done and all the adventures he undergone that day. He was so happy on the other side of the line and Oliver missed him so much. More than he ever thought possible.

After talking to Connor he checked the missed call log. Thea was on top of the list so he returned his sister call.

“Hi sis.”

“Where are you?”

“Vegas”

“I can’t believe it. We need you and you’re in Vegas?”

Oliver heard the disgruntle sounds from both Diggle and Laurel, he couldn’t make out what they were saying but he got the general vibe of disapproval.

“I’m at Vegas Hospital.” he wouldn’t call it having fun having almost lost Felicity forever and watching her struggle to recover.

“Wait… what?” Thea must have turned to the others “His at the Hospital.” words weren’t directed to the phone speaker

“What’s going on?”

“Felicity almost died. But she’s getting better.”

“Felicity what?”

Oliver heard someone picking up the phone.

“What’s wrong with Felicity?”

It was Diggle.

“We almost lost her… for good.” Oliver’s voice stutter a bit.

“What did you do?”

Oliver heard Thea on the background “Why do say that Dig? Why are you blaming Oliver? You don’t know what happen.”

“You’re right, Dig. She was pregnant and… yeah, you're right it was my fault, I guess.”

Diggle wasn’t expecting to hear this and the second he did he knew he had messed up, big time.

“No, man. It’s not your fault you lost as much as she did. I’m sorry. Don’t blame yourself when no one is to blame. It was wrong of me to…”

“I know where my fault lyes Dig.”

“Oliver…”

“Can you give the phone back to my sister. Please.”

What could Diggle say? He knew it was wrong pointing the finger at Oliver without knowing the facts and this time it really had gone terribly wrong. Oliver wasn’t to blame, he had suffered a terrible loss that was enhanced by almost losing Felicity herself and he just dropped all the bitterness he had inside on Oliver in the worse possible way. He turned the phone back to Thea

“Me again. When are you both coming back? We need you.”

“Don’t know Thea. Felicity is recovering but they put her to sleep almost all day.” Oliver was devastated Thea could hear it in his voice

“She’s going to be okay, Oliver. She’s strong.”

“That’s what they keep telling me.”

“Their right. Love you, Ollie.”

“Love you too Thea”

 

He hang up feeling even worse than when he called her. Yes he was to blame. He put himself in front of everything, his needs.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Donna sat beside him “Is something wrong with my baby girl?”

“She’s asleep. They say it’s all going fine.”

“Than whats wrong with you?”

He couldn’t even find a way to tell it out loud.

“It’s my fault.”

“What?”

“Like Diggle said I’m to blame for all of this.”

“I’m surprised and shocked. I thought Diggle was a smart man but then I guess everybody is entitled to be wrong sometimes.”

“He’s never wrong, Donna.”

“Trust me, Oliver, he his now. And I have a feeling he knows he is. None of this was your fault. Ectopic pregnancies happen, unfortunately, surgeries going wrong happen, fortunately my baby survive it. None of it was your fault.”

She didn’t get it. She wasn’t understanding the extent of the guilt he felt.

“I wasn’t here, I wasn’t with her. I was too busy being happy with…”

“With your son. Felicity told me. She’s happy for you and sad because you didn’t get to watch him grow up. When is he coming here?”

“Coming here?” Oliver was puzzled.

“Yes. I would like to meet him. He sounds like a wonderful kid.”

“I don’t know. He’s with his mother.”

“But you’re his father. You have rights.”

“Don’t know if I do.”

“Trust me honey you do. I know enough good lawyers to know that, with the right lawyer maybe you can even take Connor from her if you wish to. She’s a piece of work taking money to make your kid disappear.”

“It’s…”

“Not like that? Oh, trust me it is and morally it’s as bad as it can get. At least for me. But you do what you think is right, Oliver, do what it’s right by Connor and by you. As for my baby girl she’s doing fine and she will hate seeing you blame yourself like this.”

They got up and Donna looked at Oliver.

“She would also hate to see you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Today you are going home, with me. You are taking a shower, change clothes and sleep.”

“I didn’t bring clothes with me.” He just wanted to be there as fast as he could, he just… couldn’t think when he left Star City.

“Don’t worry I’ll think of something.”

 

Felicity was awake when they got back inside but her eyes were still unfocused.

“Hi. How you feeling?” Oliver took her hand.

“Weary. What time is it?” She had lost all track of time lately and that added to her state of confusion.

“5 in the afternoon.”

She missed seeing the sun outside. All days felt like a sequence of dark only punctuated with these brief moments of light.

“Oliver, please, don’t let them put me to sleep again.”

It was hard for him to refuse her but he had to think of her recovery and the doctors knew better than he did.

Right on queue Doctor Menendez came in with the nurse.

“You are awake. Good.”

“Please don’t put me to sleep.”

“That depends on how things are going.”

He glance at both Donna and Oliver in a silent request that they both complied.

 

“Don’t oblige her, Oliver. I know it’s hard but her health comes first.”

Oliver sat. covering his face with his hand.

“I know, Donna. I know. It’s hard to say no to her though when I just want to take her home.”

“And you will, Oliver. You will as soon as she’s better.” Donna’s watch buzzed “It’s time for me to go. Give my baby a kiss for me. And I’ll be back later.”

Oliver waited for the doctor to get out of the room.

“How his she?”

“Better.”

“Will it happen again?” he had to ask he desperately needed to know.

“It can. But now you know it can and the doctor that accompanies a future pregnancy would be looking for the signs.”

“And keep her safe?”

“He will do his or her best I’m sure of it.”

“It’s safer to not try at all than.”

“Mr Queen that is a personal decision you both have to make. But Ms Smoak will be able bare a child and it’s possible that none of what happen was caused by something physical.”

Oliver was scared, scared of losing her if this happened again.

“Besides what happen was this serious firstly because the embryo was grown more than it would have if the situation had been diagnosed earlier and second due to complications on the operating room.”

“Donna told me about that. Felicity asked me if she could stay awake.”

“Ms Smoak asked the same from me. I have level down her dose a little bit, she would be awake a bit more time each day but she has to be carefull when she moves.”

“She’ll be carefull. I’ll make sure of that. Thank you, Doctor.”

 

Oliver went inside.

“Oliver…”

“I’m here.”

“I thought you left.”

“Not leaving.”

Felicity reached for his face running her hand through his stubble.

“Are you growing a beard?”

Oliver grabbed her hand keeping it there against his face. He missed her touch so much.

“No.”

Felicity smile leaving her hand there against his face, fondling with his grown stubble.

“Your mom want’s me to go home with her.”

“I think I can trust my mom.”

He smile

“Funny, Ms Smoak, very funny. She wants me to take a bath, sleep and change clothes.”

“She’s right, Oliver.”

“But I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides I’m sure they are going to put me to sleep sometime before you go.”

“And I don’t have other clothes. As soon as Donna called I rushed here.”

“The Ducati?”

“Yes.”

“Well than did you tell my mom that?”

He nodded “She said she would take care of it.”

“Then don’t worry she will.”

There was a knock at the door that started to open and showed Lyla and Diggle.

“Lyla… Diggle? This is a surprise.”

“We heard Oliver needed some clothes.” it was Lyla answering Felicity as Diggle was awkwardly silent and quiet.

“Oliver…”

“Diggle…”

Felicity rolled her eyes and then looked to Lyla who just shrugged.

“Felicity how are you doing?”

“Better.”

“Why didn’t you called?” Diggle was almost as upset by her silence than Oliver.

“It was all going well at first than when things got worse I was asleep most of the time.”

“Is it true? We almost lost you?”

“I’m fine now it’s all that matters.”

Lyla saw Diggle wanted to know more and was going to keep asking questions until he had the answers he craved. Felicity looked too frail for him to do that.

“John you should take Oliver for a coffee and give him his bag.”

“His bag’s right…” one look from Lyla was enough to make him change his mind “Let’s go Oliver.”

Oliver looked at Felicity who nodded slightly

“I’ll be fine. Go with John.”

 

“Thank’s for bring me the clothes.”

Donna was right the man looked like crap.

“Oliver she’s doing fine. She’ll be out of here in no time.”

“Not soon enough. She shouldn’t have been here ever.”

“Don’t do this man. Things happen. Felicity is alive and will be back to Star City with you soon. Pregnancy’s are a wonderful and a terrifying thing, they keep us all on edge and sometimes they just… go wrong, it’s no one’s fault. I’m sorry this happen to you both, Oliver. Give it time, give time to yourself to heal.”

“I’m not the one who’s hurt, Dig.”

Oh but he was. Dig could see it so clear now that his words from before only gain even more weight on his conscience.

“You experience a loss, Oliver, just like Felicity did. I know we have our differences but you can trust me on this, give yourself some time.”

 

“Felicity, why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“When I left I was getting back soon. I was taking some time to visit my mom.”

Lyla waited she knew Felicity wasn’t telling her everything.

Felicity sighed under Lyla’s gaze.

“You’re good.”

“I’m a professional, Felicity.”

“I couldn’t take it anymore. The empty loft. I missed Oliver, I needed him with me so bad. But I couldn’t take him away from Connor. Connor deserves to grow up with his father to have what I didn’t.”

There it was.

“Oliver will never abandon Connor, Felicity. Like he’s never going to leave you. He loves you.”

“And I love him, Lyla. That’s why I would never force him.”

“He’s here because he want’s to be, Felicity. Anyone will tell you this.”

Felicity stay silent

“Don’t need run away from him, and from us, again, Felicity.”

 


	4. The truth about Felicity SMoak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learned the full extent of Felicity intentions when she came to Vegas. How the way Oliver stayed in Central City made Felicity make yet another hard decision.

Lyla was really good not even Donna had notice, at least Felicity thought she didn’t.

“I couldn’t take it anymore, Lyla. Oliver was so happy, he had a family, they were living together. I just… couldn’t stay there anymore.”

“I get it Felicity. I do. But you have friends. We would have helped.”

“All the city remind me of him, Lyla. I had to take sometime off.”

“Except you weren’t planning to come back.”

Felicity look sheepishly to Lyla

“Don’t look at me like that, Felicity. I was at the loft, I’m a woman. I know what we don’t mind leaving behind and what you can’t leave behind, all that was there were replaceable. We almost lost you not twice but three times didn’t we?”

With a sigh Felicity nodded.

 

“I know we have been at odds lately but I love Felicity too much not to ask. What are you doing? You have your family now why are you here?”

To Diggle surprise Oliver didn’t seem to understand the question.

“Felicity is my family.”

Diggle could see it now; Oliver had no clue to what he had done.

“Oliver, please don’t take this the wrong way but when you decided to stay in Central City and live with Sandra and Connor we all thought differently.”

This was a rude awakening for Oliver. It was never that, he never wanted that. He just wanted to take every minute of every day with Connor, to make up for lost time. Sandra’s invite had been convenient. He had no illusions about her ultimate end game but that dance needed two and he wasn’t available to play. Connor took all his attention and focus and it still wasn’t enough it would never be enough to make up for the time Sandra had taken from them.

“Felicity too?”

Diggle nodded “I think so. She was devastated when she knew, then there were other things like she only heard from you when she called it just looked to us like she was out of your life for good. We were all there for her but then she left. I’ll be honest with you, both me and Lyla thought we would never see her again.

“I…” What could he say, he couldn’t even think. The evidence piled up against him and he just wanted to be Barry and turn back time, to do things differently to come back to Star City with her, but then he would have left Connor. “Oh God Diggle. I’m a mess.”

“Get your priorities straight Oliver.”

Diggle left leaving a desperate Oliver behind, he needed guidance but no one could really give it to him.

“Oliver?”

“Donna, hi.”

“What are you doing outside?”

“Lyla asked me to leave, girl talk.”

“Oh. I guess she’s not happy.”

“She’s not happy about?”

“Felicity coming to me instead of her. I’m her mother she should come to me.”

“About?”

Donna fixed her eyes on Oliver taking in his dreadful look. Better not now, they had time.

“Let’s go say goodbye to Felicity. I need to take you home.”

Getting to Donna’s house and into Felicity’s room was a shock. He had prepared himself to find the goth type room they were in the last time they were there. Oliver was ready to feel the presence of that Felicity he never met but things were different.

“Felicity changed the room a bit while she was here. She said the dark had a different meaning for her now and she rather change it.”

And change it she did. The presence in the room was now almost purely Felicity, his Felicity.

The changes were simple but striking. The color scheme was lighter, the dark posters that once covered the walls were gone and the soft shade of lilac of the walls shine in all it’s glory.

“I will leave you to get ready. Dinner will be ready in an hour or so.”

 

Diggle and Lyla had given Donna a lift while Oliver drove the Ducati.

“You have to stay. It’s late.”

“Donna you are too sweet but we have to head back to Star City.”

“At least stay for dinner.”

Lyla exchanged a look with Diggle and then smiled to Donna.”

“Good”

“I’ll help you.”

Alone in the kitchen Lyla openly talked to Donna.

“Felicity was also leaving Vegas wasn’t she?”

“Yes, she was. She was going to disappear. She would be gone and no one would ever hear from her again.”

Lyla was sure Donna was wrong, she would find Felicity, ARGUS long arm got everywhere and found anyone.

“Take that smirk out of your beautiful lips Mrs Diggle. Felicity takes for her father on this nobody would ever find her not even… you employer.”

“She told you?”

Donna smile “No. You did. ANd you don’t even know you did.”

Lyla couldn’t help but think Donna would have made a terribly good agent.

 

Oliver felt almost like himself. Dinner was a friendly meal between the four of them and even Diggle laugh with him one or two times.

Donna take the moment before he went to sleep to issue the warning that was waiting on the tip of her tongue for too long.

“Don’t ever hurt my girl again, Oliver QUeen. If you want to leave, leave but make it clear that it’s over. If you want to stay, stay, but only if you want to. I can see you like my baby girl, you care for her and maybe you love her.”

“I do”

“I was sure before, I wasn’t sure when she came to me alone not knowing where you stood and where she stood. Felicity deserves a man that is with her, for her, loves her I thought you were it but now maybe you are somebody else’s.”

“You want me to chose between Felicity and Connor, I can’t do that.”

“No you can’t, and I’m not asking you to I’m asking you to chose having her and Connor as your family or having Connor and somebody else.”

Oliver could see where this came from.

“I have nothing to do with Sandra.”

“You have a son with her and maybe a project family, the idea of what it could have been. Like Felicity I think the question What if? is the most dangerous one in a relationship. You want to follow your What if? by all means do but decide otherwise leave to rest, move on and have a future.”

 

Exhaustion beat him that night. The next morning he called Felicity’s phone first thing.

His thoughts were clearer and he needed to hear her. She didn’t pick up. He would be there soon.

She was still asleep when he arrived at the Hospital. Her features less pale, her breathing more steady. He was fondling with her hand when he heard her voice

“Hi.”

He looked up with a smile.

“Hi”

“You look nice.”

“Your man insisted I sleeped and bathe.”

His stubble was also less beard when she rubbed her thumb through it.

“Felicity, we need to talk.”


	5. Are we still us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver Queen had time to think, to rewind and comes to the conclusion that he became a shadow of himself. He wants to keep being a "We" with Felicity. Is Felicity Smoak willing to give him a new chance?

He had time to think, to rewind and play it all over again in his head and what he now saw gave him the same impression Diggle and Donna had stated, he had kept Felicity with him, in is heart, but he did not cherish her like the precious love she was to him. For a month, a all month he had been so blind by the light of his son that he took Felicity for granted.

He could see it now, it was an unhealthy love for his son that he nurtured, a love that had reduced him gravitate around Connor and become a shadow. Oliver didn’t want to be a shadow anymore, he wanted his life back, his love back.

“Are we still us?”

The question took Felicity by surprise. She also had time to think. By leaving Central City her purpose was to let Oliver chose freely, a clean playing field of sorts. What she didn’t consider was that Connor and Sandra weren’t doing the same, they were in Central City and had their on agenda. They would be there showing Oliver the family life he could have with them. And if Oliver loved his son, as he was supposed to, he would be just like clay in a ceramist wheel.

The more she thought about it the more confused she was, what was more to blame, Oliver’s frailty by falling completely for Connor or her own naivety by believing Connor and Sandra wouldn’t use Oliver’s feelings to get him to stay with them.

“I don’t know, Oliver.”

“I want us to be.” he was nervous just like he had been so many months ago when he was going to propose. At the time he had hidden his fidgeting hands under the table but this time there was no table and his fidgeting hands were there over her bed sheets for both of them to see.

“It didn’t feel like it before.”

“I… I can’t offer you an excuse that doesn’t sound fake and I won’t do that with the woman I love. There’s only one thing I can say Felicity, while I was in Central City Connor was like the Sun, I was so blind to everything else, even myself.”

Felicity recalled the moment they told her she was pregnant, the feeling of overwhelming joy, when nothing else in the world matter except her baby. Could that be what Oliver was talking about?

“Felicity, can we be us again?”

“What about Connor?”

“Connor is part of the package that is Oliver Queen.”

“So us and Connor then?”

Would that be acceptable? He wish it was.

“Yes.”

A few moments passed, long moments when his happiness, his life was on the balance; then he felt Felicity’s hand over his. “I’m willing to travel this road with you as I always was before but only if you chose to take it with me I can’t, I won’t, be doing this path alone.”

“No” his exhale was almost a sigh “Never alone.”

Felicity smile, it was going to be hard, but she loved him enough to know they would get through this as along as they were together.

“I love you, Felicity Smoak.”

The nurse came in just right on queue.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Ready to go home.”

“Not just yet but I think if you keep this up, Ms Smoak, it won’t be long.”

Felicity beamed making Oliver smile after her. Maybe there was a chance yet but he had to change the way he addressed Connor's existence and his relation with Sandra.

He took the first step right that afternoon.

“Donna, I need your help. You told us once you know a bunch of lawyers. I need a good Family lawyer.”

Finally a change, a step on the right path, was Donna immediate thought.

“I will get you the best Family law expert in Vegas and maybe the US.”

“Can you make it quick.”

“Oh sweetheart give me just a moment.”

She had been expecting this request for help from Oliver since he got to Vegas.

After talking to the lawyer Oliver was a bit more hopeful but also knowledgeable that things were going to be easy. He would firstly contact Sandra with a proposal of visiting schedule making clear Connor would come to Star City or wherever Oliver was during the time he was with him. Depending on Sandra’s answer they would move forward. Oliver could tell the lawyer was expecting Sandra to refuse but it looked like it was a step that had to be taken, it showed goodwill.

 

“So how’s Connor?” Thea had come to visit Felicity and Oliver.

“He’s a great kid.”

“When can I met him?”

“Soon, I hope. It’s up to the lawyers.”

Donna had gladly allowed Oliver to use the kitchen and he was now busy prepping dinner for the three of them after he picked up Thea from the airport, she would drive back his Ducati, he didn’t needed it.

“Lawyers?"

“Yep. Sandra didn’t agree to the visiting schedule I proposed so....”

Thea started laughing “I could only imagine our lawyers reaction to you having a son.”

Oliver turned to the chopping block.

“It’s a lawyer Donna knows. Family lawyer, from Vegas.”

“Lawyer from Vegas? Nice call. This would be a scandal over in Star City.”

Oliver bet it would. He didn’t care all headlines would drag him through the mud but he was sure they would bring Felicity to the foil and that he would prevent from happening at all cost.

“It can still happen so please, Thea.” he looked at his sister in a plea.

“What? I won’t say anything.”

“To anyone.”

“To anyone, I promise. Now before I get to visit Felicity how are you two doing?”

“Mending. Baby steps.”

“Good. I like Felicity.”

Donna stepped into the kitchen in time to listen to this last exchange.

“And she likes you. If you are Thea, of course. I’m Donna.”

“Mrs Smoak.” Thea immediately liked Felicity’s mom.

“Donna…”

“Donna, my sister, Thea. Thea, Felicity’s mom, Donna.”

“Thank you for letting me crash in your couch tonight.”

“I’m the one sleeping on the couch, Thea. You will sleep on the bed.”

Donna was enjoying this new side of Oliver, the protective of his baby sister side. He was a good man she could tell from experience with the many bad man that crossed her path. She just hoped he could balanced his life between a son, a love, a family and his job; others as good as him couldn’t.

“Thea is right, Oliver. She’s smaller than you, the couch wouldn’t be as bad for her than it is for you.”

“That’s settled then. Thank you Donna.” Thea felt victorious, she should have known better.

“It’s not settle. Thea will sleep on the bed, she’s tired I’m better rested.”

“Tomorrow Felicity is coming home and you need your rest, Oliver.”

“Wait. What?”

“I’m next of kin remember?”

He remembered, he was still having a hard time processing it. By law and due to them not making it official, Oliver wasn’t Felicity next of kin, her mom was. That meant Donna was the one that got the information about Felicity from the Hospital first.

“Tomorrow we will get her home.” Donna was happy to have Felicity finally recovered.

“To Star City?” it was Thea asking with a big smile in her face.

“I doubt that, Thea.” Oliver was quite aware Felicity would want to stay in Vegas for a while and he rather she recovered close to the Hospital that was treating her from the start. Just in case.

“I thought you would insist on taking my baby away from here as soon as possible, Oliver?”

“I do, but not when she’s still recovering. It’s important she keeps being followed by the Hospital where it all happen.” Her health took precedent.

 

Not being the next of kin had only one advantage, no paper work. So he found himself with Thea arriving Felicity’s room the next morning leaving Donna with all the paperwork at the front desk.

Felicity was already up and moving getting everything packed.

“Hi, Felicity.”

“Thea” Felicity embraced Thea, she missed that small woman so much.

“I guess I arrived on the best day of this all ordeal.”

“Yes you did.”

Oliver walked up to Felicity and took the clothes she had on her hands.

“Felicity I’m quite sure you shouldn’t be doing this by yourself.”

“The Doctor told me to take at easy not to stay put.”

“Oliver’s right you should stay put when they tell you to take it easy. Didn’t they give you the full dictionary on doctor / patient talk?”

“Probably. I wasn’t listening.”

“Tell me what you need done I’ll do it.”

Felicity smile.

“Slave Oliver…“

Oliver stopped to look at her admonishingly making her laugh.

“Just bag all the clothes in the closet, please, Oliver. Where’s my mom?”

“She’s at the front desk doing the paperwork.”

“Oh?”

“She’s your next of kin, Felicity.” She pick up on the slightly upset tone on Oliver’s voice.

“My brother is a bit upset about that. And not because of the paperwork.”

Felicity understood, she had never thought about it. If things were the other way around they would consider Oliver’s next of kin… his son probably when he got old enough for it. The thought was unpleasant.

She watched as Oliver carefully packed everything, she appreciated his economy of movements and the care he put in handling everything. Thea was babbling on about how things were going in Star City. Until the sound of the bag zipper filled the room.

“Done. You ready?”

“Yes.”

“Okay wait here.”

Oliver went out only to come back with a wheelchair.

“NO, no way.”

“Felicity…”

“I can walk.”

“It’s Hospital policy.”

“I’m not going to use a wheelchair, Oliver.”

“Okay then.”

Felicity yelped as Oliver picked her up.

“Thea can you please take Felicity’s bag.”

“Stop, Oliver.” he did “Put me down.”

“Wheelchair?”

“No wheelchair.”

Oliver walked out to the corridor.

“Oliver, everyone is staring. Put me down, please.”

Oliver stopped again looking at her.

“Felicity you are not allowed to walk and you don’t want to use the wheelchair. Do you want to stay at the Hospital?”

“No. I want to go home.”

“Then let me take you home.”

Felicity stop struggling and just enjoyed the ride. It wasn’t all that hard, not really.

 

The journey to her mother’s house was quick and soon Felicity was lying down in her childhood bed with Donna running around her room, opening and closing closets and drawers putting everything in the right place.

“Mom, please, can you stop. I’m home, I’m okay.”

Donna sat next to her.

“Yes but… when are you leaving?”

Felicity knew she wasn’t talking about going back to Star City.

“I’m not. Not yet and hopefully never. Oliver and I reached a compromise. He’s doing things differently with Connor.”

“I know that. I got him the best lawyer I know.”

“Lawyer?”

“I guess he didn’t want you to worry. Sandra didn’t accept Oliver’s rights over Connor willingly, the lawyers are handling it now.”

Oliver didn’t told her and that was something she would address as soon as the opportunity would arise.

They heard a knock on the door it was Oliver

“Dinner’s ready. Would you like me to bring it to you Felicity?”

“No. I’ll go and eat with all of you.”

Felicity watch him come into the room.

“No carrying…” Oliver stopped in his tracks “Help me up but I will walk, Oliver. My legs need to move.”

Felicity missed the nice family dinners with the light siblings banter that Thea always provided when Oliver was in the room. The talk was about her new boyfriend and Oliver was having trouble processing all the details Donna kept asking for and Thea kept providing.

“Oh God. I don’t want to hear this, Thea.”

“Why? I’m sure you did it.”

Oliver blushed to Felicity amusement and laughter. Thea was so right.

“You're my baby sister.”

“I’m a woman, Oliver. I have sex… whenever I feel like it. I’ve been actively having sex since I was…”

Oliver cut her off.

“Don’t want to know.”

“See, it’s much better if I talk about what happen now than back then… with…” she was teasing him.

“Stop…” he was sure he knew the guy and he rather be kept in blissful ignorance.

Donna was enjoying Thea immensely. “So you went out for a Weekend escape?”

Oliver was saved by his phone ringing. He read the caller ID and with an apology excuse himself from the table.

Felicity notice the chagrin from his sister banter turn to a much more doom a gloom stance as he moved to the living room couch.

“Hello.”

It was Sandra, she had received the lawyer’s letter.

“What are you doing, Oliver?”

“What I have to. You didn’t leave me a choice.”

“What do you mean, no choice? I didn’t agree with the schedule you sent because I won’t let Connor leave Central City, ever. It’s his home.”

“And I’m his father. He as another home, in Star City.”

“So you're not coming back to Central City?”

“My home isn’t there Sandra.”

Sandra was silent for awhile.

“Very well. I will fight you on this Oliver.”

She hung up. Oliver was expecting this but he was still hopeful Sandra would think about Connor first. He felt Felicity sitting next to him on the couch, he hadn’t hear her come in.

“Oliver what’s wrong?”

“Sandra is making things harder than they should be. She’s blocking all my attempts to get in touch with Connor.”

Sandra was once again putting her needs in front of her son’s needs, and rights.

“It’s who she is Oliver.”

“I was hopeful, Felicity. I was still hoping she would think about Connor and not herself.”

This was the woman that took money to lie and make her son an orphan by choice, she was what she was.

“What are you going to do now?”

“Me… nothing. The law will decide in Connor’s best interest.” he turned to her “I can only brace myself to the possibility Connor will hate me when this is over.”

Sandra would do that, Felicity was sure of it as much as she was sure Connor would, eventually, come around, but it would be hard. Felicity draw nearer taking Oliver’s hand.

“You’re not alone, Oliver.”

Oliver took her hand treasuring her touch that was now so scarce and pulled her hand to his lips.

“Thank you.”

They sat there for a few minutes until Donna’s laughter became to loud to be ignored.

“We need to get back or my mom would get every gory detail about our life out of Thea and there’s somethings I don't want her to know. Ever.”

“You go. I must call the lawyer.”

Felicity didn’t move. She wasn’t there before but she would be now.

The lawyer was objective, as always, he wasn’t expecting any other reaction from the other litigant he would now await for his colleague to get in touch. This was, in his opinion, a progress he was hopeful that between him and his colleague they would produce an agreement that was acceptable for both parts and things would be over soon.

“He’s hopeful.”

“He has the advantage of not being emotionally involved, Oliver. That’s why you get lawyers to deal with this kind of thing. Connor will be visiting us soon.”

He felt like holding her and he did. Felicity wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt the tears in his eyes that followed his heart felt words “I’ve missed you, Felicity”.


	6. Things start to turn better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity start getting back to the usual day to day life.  
> Meanwhile the lawyer as some bad news and Felicity takes a stand.

For the first night after what seemed to be forever, Oliver slept holding Felicity tight in his arms.

Felicity longed for the night she would feel Oliver’s arms around her again. And that night had finally come. All this time apart had taken it’s toll but not enough to ruin what they had. Oliver’s dropping into the well known self blame game was something she would address, calmly and with care. Maybe he didn’t handle things the best way he should but nobody was perfect and she loved him, all flaws included.

 

The next morning Oliver was a bit torn. He wanted to go and make breakfast but he also wanted to stay there, in bed with her.

“‘morning.”

Felicity turned to him with sleepy eyes and a smile.Oliver kissed her softly but her reaction made him go deeper, leisurely. An all angst free kiss.

“Good morning.”

Felicity smile.

“I know… I can’t.”

“No, we can’t. Doctors orders.”

They kissed again and it was getting harder to stop from going further.

“Which is why I should go make breakfast.” but he didn’t move.

“You should… maybe.” Felicity traced his jawline feeling his stubble prickling her fingertip.

“If I kiss you again I don’t know if I can stop, Felicity.”

Felicity sighed.

“I know. I don’t think I could stop neither.”

He got off the bed, now in a totally different mood than the one from the night before. Felicity always had the ability to keep all his fears  at bay.

“Besides I rather your mother doesn’t kill me.”  
“She would, wouldn’t she?”

He nodded.

“And I’m sure she will. If you had to get back to the Hospital.” Just a soft kiss on her forehead before he left, walking to the kitchen.

 

Donna was already up.

“How’s my baby?”

“Good.”

“Did you behave, Mr Queen?”

She should ask Felicity that.

“Yes”

He noticed Donna glimpsing at their bedroom door.

“I’ll go and see Felicity for myself. Not that I don’t believe you, Oliver, I’ll just feel better if I see her for myself.”

Oliver had to smile, Donna was a mother hen and he loved her more every day.

Thinking about family, Thea was still sleeping but she would soon be up and hungry, so he got the coffee going and started on toast and scrambled eggs.

 

“Felicity?”

“Good morning mom.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.”

“How was…”

Felicity hated when her mom asked too much about her personal life.

“Mom… don’t.”

“The doctor said you couldn’t, I was worried.”

“No, mom. Nothing happen. Oliver and I both listen to Dr. Menendez too.”

Her baby girl was a bit sad Donna could relate.

“Maybe you couldn’t stop, or he couldn’t. It’s been a while.”

“Yes it has. But neither one of us want me back at the Hospital.”

“Good.”

“Now” Felicity got up “I’m going to get ready to go about my life.”

“I will leave you to it then.”

 

When Donna walk to the kitchen the smell of coffee already filled the air.

“Coffee…” a barely awake Thea walked into the kitchen, took a mug, serve herself, and took a sip. “You are a life saviour, Ollie.”

He smiled to his baby sister. “Good morning. Slept well?”

“Better than you would expect in a couch.”

“Sorry, I would have taken it again just…” Oliver stop, setting his hands on the kitchen counter.

Thea got closer to him, her hand on his back “Was it that bad?”

“It’s getting better. I need her, Thea. I can’t breath without her.”

“She’s safe, Oliver. She’s home.”

“But I can’t leave Connor back in Central City without a father.”

“You won’t…”

“... and Felicity would rather suffer herself and disappear from all our lives than leave a child without a father.” Donna had entered the room in time to hear Oliver’s outburst “that’s why I’m helping you, Oliver.”

“Disappear?” Thea turned to Donna “Felicity wouldn’t do that. Would she?”

As Donna didn’t give her the reassurance she needed Thea turned to Oliver.

“Would she?”

“I don’t know Thea.” and it terrified him Felicity could do just that. That she had considered just that.

“She won’t Ollie.” Thea wanted both to reassure herself and her brother.

“Who won’t what?” Felicity join in, sitting on the table.

“You. Disappearing on us.” Unable to find any definitive answer from anyone Thea went straight to the source taking Felicity by surprise.

Felicity looked into Thea’s eyes for a second and then turn to Oliver.

“Oliver can you give me a cup of coffee, please?”

She wasn’t answering and he really would like to know her answer.

“Yeah, sure.”

As he set the mug on the table in front of her, Felicity looked into his eyes, curiosity and anxiety balanced each other in them.

“Felicity, answer me.” Thea insisted.

She took a sip of coffee and notice Oliver turned to the stove, his back to her. She knew he was hiding, shielding himself from her answer.

“I was going to, Thea.”

Thea pull a chair and sat down, she needed it. She had no idea it was this serious.

“Was?”

“Change my mind.”

“Then you’ll stay? With us?”

“I’ll stay, Thea.”

Thea got up to embrace Felicity “Don’t you ever leave me, leave us, Felicity.”

Donna smiled with glee, her baby girl wasn’t leaving she wouldn’t run from her happiness, she would lose her too.

Oliver heard the answer and a wave of relief filled him. Now it was up to him to keep to never let her go.

“So what’s the plan for this morning?” Felicity asked in a happy tone.

“I’m going back to Star City. Just speeding along.”

“Careful with the speeding, Speedy” Oliver was sitting down with them, setting the scrambled eggs on the table.

“It’s going to be sweet, Ollie. I love your Ducati.”

“So do I, and I love my sister too, so drive carefully.”

“I will. Promisse.”

“I’m going to work. I have the day shift this week.” Donna was sad not to be able to stay with Felicity.

“Maybe we can go by the Casino?” Oliver inquire Felicity.

“Don’t think so…No.” Felicity clear denial was unexpected “Other than that what were your plans for the day, Oliver?”

“I’m going to talk to the lawyer and then pretty much nothing.” lately is days were spent over the Hospital, there was nothing else that interested him in Vegas except her.

Felicity nodded “We will go to the lawyer and than I will show you Vegas, my Vegas.”

“Sounds like a great plan.”

 

Oliver and Felicity were standing in front of Epelstein & Munch Attorneys at Law door.

“You don’t need to get involved and listen to all this, Felicity.”

She took his hand “I know. But I want to, Oliver.”

Oliver nodded going through the door. He was expected and after the compliments and introductions they all sat. Dr. Munch opposite Oliver and Felicity siting side by side on the meeting table.

“Mr Queen, I’m afraid I have some bad news. Our action took a bad turn.”

“What?”

“It seems your name is not on Connor birth certificate. That’s a major set back.”

Felicity took Oliver’s hand. He was still, too still.

“Sandra…”

“Isn’t confirming the paternity of her son.”

“She’s not…” Oliver was livid. “I… I can’t… I just can’t…” he just slopped to the back of the chair has his hand cover his eyes. Felicity squeezed the hand she still hold, she was there he wasn’t alone. Sandra’s behaviour didn’t come as much of a surprise to her.

“What’s the best course of action now?” Felicity asked, surprising Oliver. He knew she and promise him she would take this path, with him, but she meant more then that, she was in, all the way on this path he had chosen.

“A paternity test. But it will have to be Court ordered and for that I need Mr Queen permission.”

“You have my permission. Do whatever it takes.”

The lawyer nodded.

“I will have all the paperwork done for you to sign.”

“We’ll wait.”

The lawyer left the room leaving them alone.

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Speaking up. I was too shocked.”

“Oliver. Connor deserves a father, I’m glad you are fighting for him. Besides Connor is a part of you, Oliver, just like you said. Loving you includes loving Connor and I love you.”

A sad smile crossed Oliver’s lips.

“And I love you, Felicity.” He took her hand to his lips “Sandra isn’t making it easy. Not even a bit.”

“Sorry for the rant but, I never expected her too.”

“You were always a critic when it came to her actions.”

“I was and I am. But I won’t lose our precious time discussing her more than is necessary, Oliver.”

“Our precious time?” he smile

“Yes.”

“What would you rather be doing with our precious time?”

“You know what.” Felicity devilish look made his blood heat up.

“Don’t do that. You know we can’t.”

“Yeah I know. But I’m being honest.”

Oliver laugh.

“Okay as you are being honest, why don’t you want to go to the Casino?”

Felicity was serious in an instant.

“I rather we talk about it at home.”

“Why?” Oliver study her face now somber “What happen?”

The sound of the door postpone her answer.

“Everything's ready. Here we go.”

They read all the paper’s. As he signed Oliver was sad to have his son going through this but there was no other option left.

“And now?”

“Now it’s up to us and for the judge. I will keep you updated, Mr Queen. Ms Smoak.”

 

As they step outside and walked in direction of the Strip Oliver couldn’t find a way to keep his curiosity at bay.

“Felicity, I know we are not home but…”

“You’re curious.”

“Yes. What happen?”

“Nothing too serious if you came to think of it but it was engraved in my memory and I rather not go into a Vegas Casino.”

“Can you tell me?”

“For that I need to sit. Buy me a coffee?”


	7. Felicity Smoak explains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity Smoak tells Oliver Queen about her experiences with Vegas Casinos, and remembers a certain Casino in Starling.

They sat on a cosy little coffee shop opposite a small park. People walk past, outside the glass window, some business man walking quickly about their business, a group of teenagers laughing along going home from school probably, two dancers in full attire ready for a show walking towards the Strip.

“Only in Vegas” Felicity said to herself with a smile.

Not many gamblers or working girls around, those kept themselves around the Casinos.

She spotted a group of new arrivals. The star gazed look, trying to get their bearings, pointing at things that caught their attention, that were odd to them. They, themselves, didn’t look like  they belonged. Felicity also spotted another group, just behind them, checking, controlling; she knew that if opportunity arise they would strike like rattlesnakes. It could be anything; a con, a robbery but it would be something.

“Here you go.” Oliver sat in front of her. He had been looking at her while he was waiting for the coffees by the counter. Felicity lost in her own thoughts, in silence, was a kind of moment he hardly ever had experienced. “You okay?”

Felicity smile “Yes. I’m taking a back on how much I know this city. I never grasped the extent of knowledge I have of Vegas.”

“What do you mean?”

“While I lived here things were so natural. Me, my friends, we made our lives walking up and down these streets, we knew their perks, their ways. I never valued that back then. I just realized that that is not common knowledge.”

Outside the scene was unraveling, and Felicity was following it.

“Here we go.”

Oliver look in the same direction as Felicity. A man was approaching a family. He started talking. Oliver couldn’t make out the words.

“I wish it's just robbery, for their sakes.”

“What?”

“Watch.”

While the man talk pulling the family attention to him and to a map he and the dad were holding Oliver saw another man walking past the family. There was no reaction but the small scrape movement didn’t escape Oliver’s attention.

“Did he just…”

Felicity nodded “We should call the police.”.

The man continue talking, he didn’t even glimpse at his partner. Oliver watched as the family thank the man and he left walking to the opposite direction of the partner as he was talking to the police officer giving him the location and the description of both the robbers and the family.

“They were lucky. Now when they get to their hotel they will just find they need to go get money.”

“You knew that was going to happen?”

Felicity looked at Oliver

“Wasn’t sure. I knew something could happen.Like I told you, living here give me a knowledge I didn’t even recognized I had. I can spot out of towners in a crowd. And when there are out of towners there are con artists, robbers and sometimes even worse people. They have a specific way to do things here and, while I learn to avoid them I learned to recognize them. It’s strange how familiar this is to me.”

“Which brings us to the point of why were are sitting here.Should Casino’s be familiar?”

She smile.

“I wasn’t always what I am today.”

Goth Felicity, who was still a mystery to him, came to Oliver’s mind.

“My dad worked on the Casinos and Casino floors. He tried not to bring me with him but, sometimes… well he had to. My mom was already working shifts so when there was an emergency he sometimes brought me with him. I liked the Casino floors, all busy, and noisy, and colorful. I was a kid.”

Felicity took a sip and looked at the green grass across the street.

“But then he left. And things got worse, much worse. My mom had to take another job and was making double shifts when ever she could. People always loved her and so, sometimes, they looked the other way and she brought me in.”

She turned back to him with the smile. The saddest painful part was over.

“High School was hell but I had one thing others didn’t I got inside the Casino. No questions asked. I couldn’t get into a table or machine of course but they didn’t mind if I just watched and I loved it. A lot of people wanted to hang out with me because they had hopes I would gave them access to the Casino.”

Oliver saw Felicity’s face turning pink.

“There was a boy, a quarterback, he was gorgeous. Like many other girls I had a serious crush on him. One day he walked up to me at school and asked me out. I was ecstatic, of course, but then during our date I understood, he had made a bet with his friends to win a thousand dollars at the Casino and…”

“... he needed access.”

Felicity nodded.

“I manage to get him in. Used my mom as an excuse.”

“You took him?”

“Hormones are a bitch, Oliver, and he was drop dead gorgeous. Still is.”

Still is?!? She was still checking on her old crushes?

“I told him he couldn’t go to the tables but, I had served my purpose, he couldn’t care less. He started playing and he was awful. He wouldn’t have won not even one dollar if it was just up to him. So I started feeding him tips. By now I knew pretty well how the game worked and probabilities and mathematics were my thing. He started winning and the jackass was loud congratulating himself. All security staff on the floor were eyeing him. From afar they didn’t recognized me, I understood that later. or they would have put an end to it right then and there. He got to the thousand dollar mark. He won his bet. It was time to leave and I told him as much, but he didn’t want to, he wanted to stay and make more money. I told him I was leaving, but he was smarter than that, he knew he was only winning because I was tipping him so he threaten me.”

“He what? How?”

“He would tell everyone in school I was easy, that he had sex with me on the first date, and that I sucked. I was a teenager, Oliver, that kind of gossip going around highschool was terrifying. So I stayed, and kept feeding him tips. It took sometime but eventually security guards came for both of us. Once they recognized me I got out with a warning and a full blown Donna scalding. He wasn’t that lucky. No one saw him at school for days, they beat him and then drop him at the Hospital door. And he had to consider himself lucky for, being a Vegas boy, they didn’t injured him too bad and he could still keep playing. He’s still playing in fact.”

“And that is why you don’t want to get into the Casino?”

“A Vegas Casino. I did got into a Casino in Starling, remember?”

He did remember. Quite fondly in fact. His wicked smile made her recall her babbling from back then.

“Stop.”

“Why? You were being honest in your babbling. I just wasn’t aware of it at the time.”

Felicity turned red.

“I was aware, which made the all babbling thing even more embarrassing. I was making a hard effort for you not to notice and the babbling was just… the worse.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why were you hiding your feelings?”

“You were… well… Oliver Richy Rich Queen, the prince heir of Starling City, drop dead gorgeous surrounded by women from all sides all looking like Victoria's Secret Models. I was… me.”

“Still…”

“Besides it would make nights at the lair a bit awkward.” especially for her.

He wasn’t sure it would but he could see her point. Back then she was a friend, not more.

The time that he took building up to full recognition of his deep feelings for her made his bond stronger.

“Felicity, Casino floor and Casino restaurant are entirely different areas inside the Casino. And I do promise I will not use your skills to get money on the blackjack table. Can’t promise you I won’t use my skills though.”

Oliver was happy to perceive a slight difference of stance in Felicity. She was considering.

“Donna would be happy to see you.”

Yes she would. 


	8. Facing ones fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity walks into the Casino to her mother surprise. Oliver calls Sandra finding her true face. Felicity shares her fears about of being Connor’s stepmother with Oliver.

Donna was speechless. Felicity had just walked into the restaurant. It had been years. And Donna had tried. She didn’t bother Felicity didn’t came to the Casino at first Donna just thought she was ashamed by what happen on the Casino floor but then, by the time of Christmas Company Party, Felicity refused to attend.

“I celebrate Hanukkah.”

“Then celebrate Hanukkah, a lot of people there do. I do.”

Felicity was adamant and Donna just let things go. Thinking it was just a phase, it would pass, but it didn’t. But now here she was.

“Oliver, Felicity.” she kiss them both whispering a “Thank you” to Oliver “I’m very glad you are here.”

“Things are so much different.” Felicity look around the room.

“Yeah. They  totally redone the room. Came you should sit.”

As soon as Felicity and Oliver sat on a quiet table Done left leaving them alone

“Are you okay with this?”

Oliver was a bit nervous he had nudged her to come. Her soft smile reassure him.

“Yes it's quite cozy. And my mom was so happy.”

Felicity notice some familiar faces just smilling at her. Her mom co-workers and friends. “You can’t go and check the rest of the Casino if you like. I’ll be okay.”

Oliver look to her, she look comfortable and the whiteness that was starting to take over her face while they were walking to the Casino was almost gone.

Felicity knew he was worried he didn’t want her to walk as much as she did but she was enjoying the sun and the people. She had overdone, she knew she did. She was exhausted and feeling a bit sick when they arrived. But being sat there, she was slowly feeling better.

“You sure?”

“Yes. My mom is just there and all her friends are keeping a close eye on me. Go, have fun.” she felt he needed it.

“Okay” he was going to just kiss her cheek but she offered her lips and her little gesture just made his heart swell “I love you”.

 

Oliver left without hearing it back. Felicity wanted to say it back but she was still unsure. If Sandra kept pushing Connor away would Oliver comply with her demands?

That thought wasn’t even crossing Oliver’s mind but Sandra was exactly the person he was thinking about. He didn’t enter the Casino floor, he did sit at the Casino bar.

“Vodka”

He drink it in one move of his wrist. He need to feel the fire it gave him, inside. He needed to be remembered of who he was, how strong he was, before he made this call.

“Hello?”

“What are you doing, Sandra?”

“Oliver. You shouldn’t be calling me.”

“Answer my question, please.”

“I will not. Stay away from me and my son.”

“Our son.”

“I don’t see you here with him, with us.”

“You won’t. And he’s still our son.”

“That remains to be seen.”

“Why, Sandra?”

“I have to protect him.”

“From his own father?”

“From people that will hurt him.”

“I won’t hurt him.”

“You already did, Oliver. You left.”

The feeling of guilt was overwhelming until he remembered.

“I’m still here fighting for him. And I will fight to the end, Sandra.”

“You won’t win, Oliver." she pause to let it sink in "Don’t call me again.”

She disconnected. Oliver drop the phone on the bar top and covered his face with both hands for a beat.

“Whiskey. Double.”

“May I sit?”

The woman was well dressed and groomed. She had been looking at him since he entered the bar. Alone, well dressed, good looking. The anguish she saw when he dropped the phone was her opening. He probably had an argument with the wife and was ready for some fun.

“It’s a free world.”

She sat right beside him. He knew the drill. He just didn’t care enough to send her away.

“Buy me a drink?”

Oliver was forming the word "No" when he felt her there.

“Serve Julia her usual. I’ll pay.” Felicity had sit beside him.

“Felicity?”

“Hi Julia. You didn’t left Las Vegas I see.”

“Life doesn’t always works like we plan.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“You?”

“Once a computer geek, always a computer geek.”

“You’re with him?”

“He’s with me.”

“Just my luck. Nice to see you Felicity.”

“You too, Julia.”

Oliver saw Julia empty her glass and leave the bar.

“Las Vegas really is you’re turf isn’t it?”

“You say that because I know all the great hookers?” she smile.

“And the Casino security, and the crooks outside in the street.”

“And inside. Only their methods though. It's impossible to know them all. I also know how to count cards and how security works and I can hack any of their systems. But I would never use any of that knowledge because the Head of Security knows me and he would kill me.”

“You should be sitting down resting under your mother supervision.”

“You should be in the floor having fun but here you are at the bar, drinking and looking miserable. What’s wrong?”

Oliver took another sip of whiskey.

“I called Sandra.”  

He shouldn’t have done that, the lawyer had advised against it.

“I needed to know why, Felicity. Why is she doing this.”

Felicity waited he needed to let it out, she needed to know how much would he share.

“She told me to stay away, she told me it remain to be seen that I was Connor’s father, she accused me of hurting Connor by abandoning him. She also told me that if I was his father she wasn’t seeing it for I wasn't there with them."

Sandra had confirmed all Felicity thought of her. She had been harsh in doing it.

"Felicity, I need my son to be with us.” Oliver grabbed her hand.

“Let’s leave it to the lawyers, Oliver. The only way we can do this is trough the Courts. But it’s going to be slower than you wish, Oliver.”

“Felicity, Sandra cannot win. I will not let her win.”

She turned to him and waited from him to do the same “We won’t let her win. We will have Connor, legally, with us soon.”

She stepped out of the bar stool an in between Oliver’s legs and kissed him.

“Now do you want to check the floor or should we go home?”

“If we go home now I would make love to you and you can’t, not yet.”

“Floor it is then.”

“Are joining me?”

“Not on the tables. I’ll stick with the machines.”

 

They had won they had lost but they did enjoy themselves. The next day was doctor’s appointment day and they had to be there early.

“I miss our home. I miss our bed. I miss you.” Felicity was getting more restless than Oliver by staying in Vegas.

“I thought you liked it here?” Oliver spoke softly but right into her right ear. And she felt his breath on her neck making her shiver.

“I really need you.”

He smiled. She was feeling exactly the same way he did.

“Moving back home won’t solve that.”

He heard her sigh.

“I know.”

“I’m just glad to have you here. With me. Now get some sleep you need to rest.”

Felicity was playing with his hand. From that he knew she wanted to ask something, something that was bothering her.

“Do you think Connor will like me, eventually?”

“He’s going to love you. I think the one he’s not going to like is me, Felicity.”

“Still, stepmother as a dreadful ring to it.”

“You will be a good one. I’m sure of it.”

He kissed her neck.

“Now sleep.”

They both fell asleep each thinking about there own fears about welcoming Connor to their family and finding solace in each other.

 

 


	9. Back in Star City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity Smoak talks about all her fears and doubts with Oliver Queen. She finally gets a clean bill of health and they get back to Star City.  
> The date for the Court to hear the Connor's issue is set. Getting there Sandra attacks Felicity and has a surprise waiting for Oliver.

A week passed, routine settle and Felicity was just going out of her mind. She wanted to go away, get back home, leave her mother’s house. She now remembered why she left Vegas. The fact Oliver was there with her wasn’t helping as much as she hoped.

That morning Felicity was sitting in the kitchen watching him move considering her life, their life. They hardly talked about their future anymore and that was mainly her fault. She knew he wanted Connor to be with them and he assumed it was with her but he hadn’t said it. She figured it was her fault, she had promised to take this road to get Connor with Oliver and she considered herself bound to that promise so Oliver had every right to think things were as they should be between them, they were on the same path, walking together. But was it…

Felicity had no doubt of her feelings for Oliver but she still had doubts about Oliver’s feeling towards her. The “what if?” was still the most dangerous question in a relationship and her head had time to be filled of “what ifs”. What if she hadn’t lost their baby? What if she was gone? Would he search for her? Would Oliver build a new life with another woman? Sandra perhaps?

Oliver notice she was faraway, lost in thoughts. That was happening a lot lately and every time it did he felt anxiety and dread immediately. He didn’t quite knew why but it was an immediate reaction he couldn’t control.

“Hey. Felicity. Is something wrong?”

Felicity locked eyes with Oliver not dismissing the question, it was the first time she did give him the true answer.

“Why are you here, Oliver?”

The question took him by surprise.

“Because I love you. You’re my girlfriend, my partner. I can’t phantom my life without you.”

A sad smile cross Felicity lips as she drop her eyes to her hands that sat on the table.

“What?” Olive sat right in front of her grabbing her hands between his.

Felicity look back into that sea of blue that were Oliver’s eyes.

“That’s not quite.... true, Oliver. You are capable of living without me. I’m expendable. There’s a woman lurking out there that can fill my shoes.”

A moment of silence filled the room as Oliver searched the words to sum up all the emotions going trough him. It was a hard, almost impossible task.

“Without you I breath, my heart beats, my brain keeps sending signals to make my body function but that’s it. Without you, Felicity, I survive. I don’t live.”

“You know I was going to leave don’t you?”

Oliver couldn’t speak. Yes he knew but he shield himself from thinking about it. It was too painful. He just nod.

“I got back to Star City, to our house. Our empty house. And then your voice on the phone everyday. So happy. All the nice times with Connor. How much you loved him clear on your  every word. How much he was appreciating you. Connor had a dad that loved him. That made me happy. Then one day I hung up and it hit, what about me? Where did I stand? It took me sometime, some dreadful, painful time, to consider and come to a conclusion. I didn’t stand anywhere, I had no place in Connor’s life, in your life. That’s when I started to plan going away. It had to be someway that I couldn’t came back from. And I found it…”

Felicity turn to the window and look at the sky outside.

“... it’s out there. The path with no return.”

“I wouldn’t stop searching you, Felicity.”

The sad smile was back on Felicity’s lips.

“You would have been too late, Oliver. I came here. Last stop before… and this happen.”

“And I’m here. I won’t leave you. I’ve made many bad decisions in my life allowing myself to love you and not shying away from what we are, of what we are building together, was a good decision. Without us there is no me.” If there was a time to be honest this was it “It terrifies me how close I was from losing you, Felicity. So many times. A world without you is not a world where I want to life in. A life without you is not one I want to live.”

“What if we lose, Oliver? What if the only way you can be with Connor is by going back to Sandra?”

He had consider that possible outcome. He had consider every possible outcome. Except being without Felicity, that was not possible. He knew now better that before that he wouldn't be able to survive that.

“First we are both fighting to win, I believe we are going to win and have Connor with us. If it doesn’t turn out that way we will figure out where we want to go, what we want to do, together, Felicity.”

“What about Connor?”

“I want Connor to be happy, I wish it is with us in his life, if things don’t go that way I will fight for him to be happy but I will not compromise my own happiness.”

“He’s your son, Oliver.”

“He is. And you are apart of me. He will have us both there. For him. We will consider the how if we need to. Right now let’s fight for Connor’s rights.”

Felicity nodded it was a lot to process.

“Oliver, how's Sandra? Like a person I mean.”

Oliver wish Felicity would stop talking about Sandra. After the last phone call back at the Casino bar Oliver understood exactly what kind of woman Sandra was the kind of woman he wished he never had met.

“Not a very good person, Felicity.”

“Oh?”

“Let’s just say I won’t have any problem about dragging her through court.”

“I thought you liked her.”

“I thought we could get along, for Connor’s sake.” He was ashamed for not spotting her end game right from the start.

It made sense. Oliver wanted to get along with Sandra. Felicity’s phone rang.

“Hello.”

Oliver was getting the coffee and the cold toasts and omelet to the table. It would have to do.

“I’m so sorry. I...We are on our way.”

Felicity hang up as Oliver served her coffee.

“What?”

“We have to hurry. We are already late.”

“Eat first. I’ll call a cab.”

 

“Clean bill of health… Finally.”

Last time they were walking out of the Hospital. Oliver had to smile. Finally all the health issues were behind them.

“Where do you want to go now?”

Felicity turn and wrap her arms around Oliver’s neck

“Home.”

The smile from Felicity’s eyes draining out as the shear need took over. They had kissed a thousand times since Oliver got to Vegas but not like this. All restraints were off. But they were in the middle of the street.

“Let’s go, now....”

Felicity was too wrapped up in the midst of her own need, she noticed the urgency in Oliver’s resolve but was unable to react to it.

 

Felicity didn’t know how they got into the bedroom but they did. They fell on to the bed, no gentleness only urgency and need. Her lips pounding from the hard, deep kisses, Oliver’s hands burning on her skin, every cell of her body welcoming the touch.

“Oliver” she felt the wave of pleasure taking over her “Oliver, please.”

Her first orgasm came fast and hard leaving her senseless from all things except Oliver. He didn’t stop, he missed having her like this. His lips traced her neck up to her ear, he knew exactly the spot that would make her shiver with pleasure.

“Oliver. I need you… now”

He obliged her. Slowly and steady until the final release.

They were silent for a long time. Oliver fingers tracing her back while her head rested on his chest.

“I want to go home, Oliver. Can we go home?”

“We’ll go as soon as we get tickets and say goodbye to your mother.”

He felt her smile.

“Thank you.”

 

Donna was expecting them to leave as soon as they could so, with a promise of visiting them soon, she said farewell to them and in two days they were back in Star City.

Felicity got back to Palmer Tech, Oliver to his campaign and their night activities kept them pretty busy. Only at the end of the night they got some time for themselves.

“The lawyer called.” was Oliver’s news one night.

“What news?”

“The date is set.”

“When?”

“The 10th.”

“That’s next week.”

“Yes. It’s in Central City Court.”

Made sense it was Connor’s city of residence.

“Want us to stay there, Oliver?”

“No.” he didn’t want that, unless “Is it too much for you, Felicity?”

“No. I rather come and sleep in our bed.”

Oliver smile. He agreed with that 100%.

 

The journey to Central City was stressful Oliver was used to Courts but usually he was the one being accused and knew how he should behave, this time around he didn’t knew how to behave or what to expect and that made him a nervous. It was also the first time since the phone call he would see and eventually talk to Sandra. He wanted to keep that to a minimum.

Felicity was sitting quietly by his side. She could sense he was piling up but she really didn’t knew how that could be avoided.

“The lawyer said this is going to be simple. They will ask Sandra about Connor’s dad she will say whatever she will and they will state it’s need proof and the judge will order a DNA test.” Felicity kept it simple for Oliver’s sake. A lot of things could occur and, in the end, the judge could rule for a dismissal and not do the DNA testing on Connor.

Oliver smile. Felicity being there was enough to calm him, this time the states were higher, nevertheless a soothing effect was there and was much appreciated.

The lawyer was waiting for them and immediately started prepping Oliver, preparing him for what was going to happen in a few minutes.

“Going to the ladies room. I’m be right back.” Felicity whispered at Oliver’s ear before stepping away.

The long drive had taken it’s toll she almost run to the ladies room. As she washed her hands she felt another woman by her side.

“Felicity. A surprise to see you.”

“Sandra. Good morning.”

“Came to watch over Oliver did you?”

“I’m where I’m needed, Sandra.”

“Needed? Don’t know about that. His family is here.”

That shook Felicity.

“Don’t know about that.”

Felicity was walking toward the door ending the conversation

“If you want a son, have it. Or are you “dry” even there?”

The blow was like a blade through Felicity’s heart.

“Have your own son you're not going to take mine.”

Felicity walked out of the bathroom . She had to leave, she couldn’t speak. She couldn't reply. She couldn’t stop the pain as she fought the tears.

Oliver notice something was wrong the moment Felicity was in sight.

“What’s wrong?”

Felicity shook her head. Oliver was upset enough, nervous enough, for her to add gasoline to the fire.

“Felicity…” he was silent. As he watched Sandra walking out of the same ladies room as Felicity.

He started walking to her

“Oliver, no. Don’t.”

Felicity was too late. Oliver was already in front of Sandra.

“Stay away from Felicity. Don’t even speak to her. This is between us.”

“You are right, Oliver. This is a family matter, between us. She has nothing to do with it but then you brought her. You brought and outsider to a family dispute.”

“This is a family matter and she’s my family. She will always be my family, Sandra.”

“She’ll never be Connor’s family. I told her I tell you if she wants kids have them herself she’s not taking mine.”

Oliver turn white.

“How dare you?”

“Oliver, please. Come.” Felicity was losing the fight she was having with her tears. Her distress poured in her plea to Oliver enough for him to look at her.

“Okay. It’s okay.” Oliver pulled Felicity into his arms.

Sandra’s lawyer came to call her as did Oliver’s. It was time.

“You can stay here, Felicity. It’s going to be hard in there.”

“No. I’m okay.” She forced a smile.

 

The complaint was presented and the lawyers made their statements. Oliver was dormant trying to keep calm and worried about Felicity at the sametime. He never had imagine Sandra would take such a low blow. And such and accurate one on such a recent wound. Could someone had tipped her off? He consider that for a moment but discarded it, She would have been more on point if she did had intel. Sandra was ruthless, how did he never saw that.

“Ms Hawke.”

“Mr Queen states his you're son, Connor Hawke, father. Is that true?”

“No.”

“Who is Connor father? The man on the birth certificate?”

“No. He’s legal father loved him very much but knew he wasn’t his biological father. Connor’s father was Robert Queen.”

It felt like Oliver’s blood left his body leaving him dry, unable to move, to talk to react. He wasn’t expecting this. Sandra had a smile on her face, like she had won.

Her lawyer was talking. “In sight of this information we ask for the complaint to be dismissed. DNA testing will only prove that both Robert Queen and Oliver Queen could be Connor’s father it won’t give the certainty needed to identify the father.”

“She won Mr Queen.” it was his Oliver whispering.

“My mother pay her.”

“As she would if Connor was her husband son.”

Oliver had no argument to present. How could this be?

As the judge dismissed them he could see Sandra’s smile.

Felicity wanted to hold him. The judge kept talking neither of them were listening. Connor was lost to them.


	10. DNA samples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Oliver Queen is back. Now for the protection of Thea by keeping the world from getting back to the news that Robert Queen isn't her father. The DNA testing is for Robert Queen and Oliver knows exactly where to get it.

As the judge kept talking Felicity watch the smug smile on Sandra’s face vanish. The Judge was ordering DNA tests to ascertain the paternity of Connor, starting by testing Robert Queen DNA for a match.

The woman was a puzzle to Felicity. What was her end game? Money? Again? All Robert Queen fortune was gone. Keep Connor without knowing his father and his family? How could she do that? What kind of mother was she?

Oliver had his back turn to her, listening to the judge speaking. His shoulders had slumped when the Judge dismissed his claim but the slumping was becoming less noticeable as the white took over Sandra’s face.

Sandra was beginning to understand she was going to lose. This scheme she had came up with would not end the way she had foreseen.

Robert Queen was dead. His body laid on Lian Yu but the World didn’t know that. The DNA testing was going to be made using Oliver’s DNA. Their defeat had turn to victory. Their objective had been fulfilled.

As the Judge closed the session Felicity welcomed Oliver into her arms. It had been too much for him to handle, she could see the confusion in his eyes. Sandra bringing Robert to the foil was an unforeseen move, they hadn’t prepared for it.

“It’s going to be okay, Oliver. Things are going to be settle as we want them to.”

His nod and the absent mind way he pulled her into a soft kiss at the top of her head were proof his mind was still setting all the pieces together.

“What now?” Oliver voice was almost a whisper.

“Now they will ask for a DNA sample of Robert Queen. Once informed it doesn't exist, they will call you and your sister to provide your own samples.”

“Just me. Thea is not my father biological daughter.”

Felicity felt more then saw the lawyer smile.

“Yours then. I guess we got what we came here for, Mr Queen.”

All in all they had lost but they had won. Oliver and Connor would be doing DNA testing and the truth would come out.

Felicity was puzzled with Oliver silence. He had been silent since they left the lawyer. They were now arriving Star City and they couldn't get home soon enough. She had respected Oliver's silence for touching him, make him face her was impossible while he was driving. Home she could do both, home she would do both.

It came with no surprise that she watched Oliver walk inside the loft and moved to the couch as absent minded as he was in Central City. She didn't move until she saw his hand searching for her right then she got closer, reaching for his hand and taking it before sitting right by his side.

His fingers entangling with hers gave her the in.

“Sometimes I wish I could go inside your mind for a few seconds.”

The smile was sad enough for her to almost regret her words.

“No. You should never wish for that.”

“Something is bothering you. Will you tell me?”

“I don't want to tell anything to Thea.”

Even if just on paper Thea was Robert's daughter, and she was Connor's aunt, she had the right to know.

“I would much rather not tell her. At least not yet.”

“She will be happy, Oliver.”

“Happy?”

“Yes, she has a nephew. And he looks just like you.”

“But she will be involved all this paternity mess. It's to close to home for her, Felicity.”

“No harm can come from her knowing, Oliver. The all world knows she's Malcom Merlyn's daughter and not Robert Queen.”

“The all world already has forgotten that. Or at least forgotten enough not to be interested in talking about it or writing about it. Now it will all change. Remember she's my sister, a Mayor candidate sister.”

“Oliver, Thea can handle that.”

“Not so sure. After the pit.”

That was the real concern.

“She should know, Oliver. Nevertheless. These news about Connor are bound to came up. It's better if she hears it from you and not anyone else.”

As Felicity felt a gentle pull and place her head on his chest while Oliver hand caressed her back softly she knew he was considering her words, considering telling Thea. Now she had to wait and see what he would in fact decide to do.

 

 -

 

Oliver enter the office to find Thea and Andy smiling at each other. Thea romantic and sexual life was something he avoid not only addressing but also think about. She was his baby sister, he remembered her running after him, in diapers and... no, just no.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning” the stereo answer, so in tune it was almost shocking.

“I'm sorry, Andy. I have a family matter to talk about with Thea...”

“I'll give you two a minute.”

The moment Andy left, Oliver already sitting at is desk, started telling everything about Sandra and Connor and Moira and Robert.

“I have a nephew?”

“Yes.”

“And his mother stated, in court, that he is in fact my brother? Sorry, your brother?”

Oliver just nodded.

“And now? When do I get to meet my nephew?”

“First they will be making tests.”

“DNA tests? On dad? No, not dad, we can't provide a sample. On us? That's it isn't it? You're scared about my paternity hitting the news again.”

“I don't want you to be involved Thea.”

“Well you have no say in the matter, Ollie.”

“The thing is, I do.”

“How do you figure?”

“You will not be called if we can present Robert Queen DNA, Thea.”

“No, Ollie. That's is even worse. I rather have my story known over in Central City than you telling what really happened with dad. Forget it.”

“Thea...”

“I know what you are doing and I assure you, telling the World about Robert Queen will hurt me more than telling the small part of the World that doesn't know yet that he wasn't my biological father.”

She was wrong. He knew she was wrong. Getting a DNA sample out of his father didn't mean he had to explain to the public how he got it. If need be he would ask Barry for guidance, DNA testing was his expertise. 

 

-

 

The letter finally came ending almost a month of waiting. Felicity got to it first. She didn't open it, as the Green Arrow was riding back to the Lair, but Oliver wanted to know, to have time to process, to decide, so he urged Felicity to open the envelope and read it to him by phone. It requested a Robert Queen DNA sample.

“Oliver.”

“No one will know Felicity.”

“Yes. They will. Oliver, how would you explain having...” Felicity stopped. What was he bringing from Robert's corpse anyways “Thea asked you not to do this, Oliver. He was her father too.”

“I have to do this Felicity.”

“Oliver.”

He was already gone and she knew exactly where.

 

 -

 

The Palmer Tech jet was waiting for him at the tarmac.

“Everything is ready Sir.”

As Oliver climb the stairs his thoughts were on Felicity. He hated going against her express wish but he had to protect Thea, she was his baby sister he would always protect her.

“Felicity?”

“If you are going. I'm going.”

“I rather you didn't. Lian Yu isn't a place I want you to go to.”

“But I already went there. Twice.”

“It was different.”

“Yes. You weren't going to dig up your father.”

“We weren't together and you hadn't been dying at the Hospital a few months earlier.”

“Nothing will happen to me, Oliver.”

“You can't be sure of that. I know that Island, better than anyone, it's dangerous. I do not want you anywhere near it, ever again.”

“You do know the Island, and you do know me. I'm not going anywhere but with you, Oliver.”

Felicity was right, he knew her, enough to know she wouldn't budge, she wouldn't get off the jet. Oliver just sat in front of her, facing her only to find concern. Felicity was brave but she was aware of the dangers, the risks. From his story telling she knew about some of the horrors the Island enclosed, the fact she was aware of them and that they scared her brought him conflicted feelings. For one he wanted her to feel safe but at the same time he was glad for her fear, it would keep her alert.

“We get there and we come back, immediately, Felicity. I want you on the Island the lesser time possible.”

The journey was quiet. Oliver was lost, enveloped in the horror he was anticipating. In a strange way he was thankful he wasn't alone to do this. Felicity was is pillar, his rock. He watched as she slept oblivious to all the painful memories going through his mind.

The Island horrors that he kept to himself and still haunted his dreams. Now less, because of her, because of the happy memories their were building, together. Those memories had taken precedence, they have taken center stage outshining all the ones that were before, but they weren't erased, they were still there, in the background, showing up when he least expected.

“Time to take the hydroplane, Felicity.”

“Already?”

“Yes. Come on.”

He almost carried her as Felicity was barely awake. He was sure the cold air inside the hydroplane would wake her up, at least enough, to be safe to walk with her into the Island.

Lian Yu was exactly has he remembered. He found that it didn't felt like home anymore and that made him almost giddy. He was careful to set the hydroplane away from ARGUS prison, he wasn't afraid of any of the prisoners for himself but he was afraid for Felicity. Slade taking her, threatening her, still gave him nightmares.

"This place gives me the creeps, Oliver."

"It was my home, for many years."

"It strange."

"What?"

"If it wasn't for this Island we probably would never met."

Oliver stopped pulling the bags out the hydroplane. Could Felicity be right? The Island changed him, the Island made him who he was. Made him the man that hiding behind a wall, one day, saw her admiring his looks out of a framed picture and was curious about that blond babbling small woman. Made him the man that walked into her office at Queen Consolidated with a shot at laptop. Had the Island never happen, would he ever met Felicity? Would they be together?  Imagining a life without Felicity was now too painful. Painful enough for him to want to believe he would have, they would have crossed paths, they would be together. He desperately wanted to believe, but he doubted that the man he was before would ever be enough for Felicity. In fact he was sure he wasn't.

"But we did and I'm happy."

"We did and I'm happy. Just this Island just..."

"The Island save my life but also change me completely, so in a way it also killed me. The old me. It help making me what I am today by destroying what I was. You help me on rebuilding, Felicity, and that has nothing to do with this Island."

He felt her lips hot on his. Her taste. He missed her taste, so much. But they had to stop with the daylight fading away priority was making camp. Last time he had been there he was with Thea, she knew how to defend herself after Malcom training, that wasn't the case with Felicity. He needed to know she was safe and the only place he felt he could control was the plane.

“I remember this place.”

“You wanted a coconut.”

“No I didn't. I wanted you back.”

As he pulled her into his arms he reminisced on the time she came with Diggle to take him back home.

“And you got me back.”

“Yes. Even more that I was asking for at the time.”

“Regrets?” he was so happy to have her there, with him, he was losing all track of his surroundings and of the problems that were messing with his head and with their relationship.

The moment of silence that followed could have been awkward if it wasn't for the her crystal clear eyes on his.

“No, Oliver. No regrets. I love you.”

She amazed him, every time, for her bravery, for her intelligence, for her strength but, most of all, for her the way she loved unconditionally. Had he felt blessed she had chosen him.

“I love you too. But I do have regrets.”

“Shh. Connor is not a mistake. Feeling what you do about Connor isn't something you should regret.”

“How I treated you is, Felicity. I failed you. When I left, you came for me, here, the most dangerous place I know. When you left I didn't come for you.”

“You did, Oliver.”

“Not as soon as I should.”

“But you did.”

Her lips felt like honey on his. The sour taste of regret, of fear, of anxiety, it all went away as he laid her on the sleeping bag.

Oliver was up at the break of dawn. Felicity had come all the way here with him but he didn't want her to watch him digging up his father and taking some strands of hair. He had decided to do this alone, spare her from this image that would never be erase from his memory.

“A tooth would be better, Oliver.”

She had followed him. He should had expected that.

“You shouldn't have come here, Felicity.”

“This is why I came.”

As she knelled at his side.

“Can you open his mouth a bit?”

He did as she asked. The molar was out before he could object any further. Felicity took both the hair strands and the molar and carefully bag them.

“Barry thought me.”

Oliver reset all the rocks burying back his father, as Felicity check the other graves.

“I know Yao Fey and Shadow. Who's this?”

“Someone that help made me what I was.”

The lost, destroyed, soul that got back to Starling City in a past he hardly remember anymore.

“Let's go home.”


	11. Home at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor, Oliver's son, arrives for his first visit with Oliver and Felicity.  
> And Felicity as a surprise for Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a long while. I'm so very sorry about that. Times have not been easy for me IRL and so I'm dreadfully behind. Hope I'm finally on the right track though, thank you for keeping up following.

The night enveloped her. Insidious dark haunting her thoughts. Since they came back from the Island things had developed fast.

The testing came up with the expected result. The lab techs noted the sample had been harvested from a corpse but, thanks to Barry intervention, they let it go. There was no point in pursuing the issue which wasn’t the least bit relevant to the paternity test they were asked to do.

Oliver’s time had been divided between Star City and Central City. His focus on Connor, but this time Felicity was there every step of the way.

_“I can’t do this Felicity.” After an especially hard night for Green Arrow Oliver was dead beat and had just fallen on to bed next to her “What kind of parent will I be? I can’t be the Green Arrow and a parent. I…”_

_“Hey. You will be the best kind. The kind that loves unconditionally, the kind that will sacrifice everything, even himself, to his child.”_

_“The one that arrives late at night when his kid is already asleep, every. single. night. The one that when, eventually, gets home early is too tired to anything but fall on to bed. The kind that one day may not…”_

_“STOP.” She knew exactly what he was going to say and yes it was possible but she would never admit it out loud and neither should Oliver “Don’t… don’t you even think it. You will be the best kind of father, Oliver. I know it.”_

_“Felicity…”_

_“You’re not alone, Oliver.”_

_He smiled up to her as if he just recalled that he wasn’t an Island anymore._

And that was really the thought that haunted her in the silent loft. For Oliver it was so easy and seamless to turn in to an Island even when they were together. She had learned to notice when he did but it was still a struggle for her to make him come back.

The thought gnawed at her making her breathing harder. The dark enclosed empty loft offered her no comfort as she step on to the balcony. The city pulsed around her but it was becoming silent making her aware that it was late. Felicity felt the wave of concern rising inside but she couldn’t call him. Not this time.

Oliver was on his way home with Connor for his first visit, the last thing she wanted was disturb the bonding she hoped was happening between father and son.

With the concern came the anxiety, how would Connor accept her? Would he like her? Would he hate her?

“Don’t get too anxious.” Her doctor’s words came to mind fast and clear.

With all that was going on Felicity hadn’t told Oliver yet about her unscheduled visit to her doctor. Now was not the time she recalled.

The light of the living room came on startling her.

“We’re home.” Oliver’s voice was filled with forced happiness.

Still unnoticed Felicity turned to watch a small version of Oliver taking a careful and unsure step inside the room while Oliver set a small dark blue back pack on the couch. It was shocking how alike they looked. Felicity noticed Oliver unsure of what to do next, like the all situation had mind numbed him. Coming to his aid she step inside.

“Hi.”

The look in Oliver’s face just confirmed how lost he was. It was of no surprise to see the same look reflected on Connor’s eyes.

“You must be Connor.”

The boy looked at her extending his hand.

“I’m Felicity. Nice to meet you.” Felicity took the hand following his lead.

“Hello. You live here?”

“Yes.”

“My mom lives alone now.”

It wasn’t a question or an accusation but a statement of fact.

“She has you.”

“I’m not there now. I’m here.”

“With your father.”

“My father died.”

Oliver tensed where he stood.

“The man who raised you, cared for you and for all that is true was your father died. But there is another man who just now learned you existed and wishes to know you, to care for you, to love you. Wouldn’t you give him a chance to do that?”

Connor’s eyes drift to Oliver, considering. The seconds felt like hours as Oliver stand his ground. Finally Connor looked back, clouds lifted from his eyes, to face her. The consideration must have been a favorable one for Connor’s next words were

“Can I watch TV?”

“It’s late, sweetheart. I was planning on going to bed, unless… are you hungry?”

Connor’s smile was an all-new beam of light. And Felicity felt Oliver relax a bit.

“Yes.”

“Pancakes… Oliver makes wonderful pancakes.”

“Really?”

“He’s a wonderful cook.”

“You two are going to make me go to the kitchen and work, aren’t you?” Oliver asks playfully, all anxiety lifted.

“Well… of course. We are starving.”

“For pancakes?”

“For pancakes.”

“I don’t have a choice have I?”

“None what so ever.”

As Felicity walked to the kitchen with Connor, following Oliver.

“Don’t you cook?”

“Well… I try… sometimes.”

“She mostly almost sets the house on fire.”  Oliver beamed at her that answered with annoyed funny face making Connor laugh.

 

* * *

 

“That went well.”

Her head rested on Oliver chest as they laid in the darkness of their room.

“After you talked to him, yes it went rather well. And I think he liked the room.”

She had to smile recalling how much struggle he had propping the room.

_“Barry… he likes The Flash. Of all the heroes he could have chosen.”_

_“Well at least you know him personally.”_

_“That’s exactly the point, Felicity. Do you know how hard it’s going to be for me to face Barry?”_

_“I’m sure he will be ecstatic.”_

_“Exactly.”_

But he made it any way and Connor was delighted… for the few minutes he was awake.

“I had the feeling he loved it. But you had him on the pancakes.”

“He really like them didn’t he?”

“Hum hum”

“Felicity…”

“Hum” she was drifting fast but Oliver following silence brought her back.

“Oliver… are you still worried about Connor?”

“It’s not that. It’s… I don’t know how to put this without sounding like I was keeping a toll.”

“What?”

“I never saw you eat that many pancakes in a roll.”

Turning her face to him, her chin resting on her right hand now set where her head was before.

“So you  _were_  keeping a toll?”   

“Well…” he look embarrass “let’s just say I noticed. Can we go with that?”

“I was hungry.”

“How…”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

Was now the time? It didn’t seem right to keep him in the dark but at the same time should she drop this on Oliver when he was dealing with Connor? Felicity considered the small boy sleeping in the next room, laughing at the kitchen table, enjoying the pancakes still warm from the pan, laughing when Felicity tried to make a pancake and it burned making Oliver jump to stop the alarm before all the building would wake up. The thought made her smile and make her decision.

“I had a craving for pancakes.”

“Craving?”

Oliver was trying to process the word, find its meaning. Felicity saw the moment he understood what was beyond the simple unusual word.

“Are you telling me…”

“Yes.”

“We’re pregnant?”

“Hum hum.”

“You sure?”

“As sure as the doctor is.”

The shock on Oliver’s face turned to beaming joy, pulling her into his arms and kissing her.

“A child… of our own.”

She didn’t recall seeing him this happy before.

“Wait… you went to the doctor?”

“Yes. I had to be sure and… I had to know if it wasn’t like… before.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

It suddenly dawn on her that, this time, she had been the Island.

“I… I wasn’t sure, about anything. I needed to be sure.”

Felicity could see in Oliver’s eyes he wasn’t okay with it but, she guess happiness was most powerful for he decide to stop pursuing the issue. Thank fully for she couldn’t really offer more explanations. She had gone to the doctor alone, she didn’t tell him, those were the facts. The feeling of not wanting to get him with is hopes up, or terribly concern about her health, before she was sure were in fact important pieces in the puzzle and were no more than her personal position that did exclude Oliver.

“I’m happy”

“An now some light came out of Lian Yu.”

“What?... Oh… Really?”

“Really.”

Oliver drifted away from her just for a small moment.

“Who would have thought anything good could come out of that place.”

“You did.”

She wrapped herself closer to Oliver feeling his arms tighten around her.

“Our baby did.”


	12. Afternoon at the park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pregnant Felicity, Oliver and Connor spent the afternoon at the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit shorter than usual but it's fluffy.

The Sun was shinning up above nearly no clouds in the sky and when one blocked the Sun it was a welcome feeling.

  
With my hat in place, I enjoy the afternoon sitting on the red cloth where the remnants of lunch are hardly visible.

  
A few meters to my left I hear Connor’s laughter as he successfully hits the ball with his father’s bat.

  
“Nice one.”

  
Oliver’s voice echoes the deep happiness he feels.

  
“Oliver, the dog took the ball.”

  
It will take sometime for Connor to call Oliver dad but both respect and understand that. Connor will move towards Oliver at his own pace.

  
I glimpse at the scene unraveling before me. Connor running after the dog that just drops the ball in the ground and turns to taunt the little boy.

  
“He wants to play with you.”

  
A laughing young girl tells Connor.

  
“I can play with him?”

  
“Of course.”

  
“Can I?”

  
Connor turns to Oliver that his coming closer.

  
“If you like. Just don’t go too far.”

  
Connor picks up the ball throwing it back to where he stood before. A waits as the dog retrives it back.

  
I’ve been so distracted with Connor happiness that Oliver’s arms wrapping around me surprise me. His hands settle over my belly where soon I hope to feel our child moving, growing. The large hat doesn’t allow me to rest my head back on his chest but Oliver makes it unecessary by setting his head on my shoulder and pulling closer.

  
“Hi”

  
“Hi. I’m so glad to see you happy.”

  
His laugh tickles my skin.

  
“How are you feeling?”

  
“Perfectly content and happy.”

  
“Good.”

  
His lips touch my skin as lightly as butterfly wings sending a burst of pleasure over my body.

  
“Oliver…”

  
Connor’s scream brings us back from the sensual haze. The dog iss licking his face making him scream as it tickles him.

  
“He’s going directly to the bathtub as soon as we get home.”

  
“Hmmm… hmmm”

  
“Now where were we.” Oliver’s lips are back on my troth. In the shade of the hat no one can see what his doing but I can feel it right to my core.

  
“Oliver… do I have to remind you it’s a public park.”

  
“I know where we are. That’s why I’m just exploring your neck… and ear…”

  
I, on the other hand am finding hard to draw any line, as the rush of desire burns through me faster than lightning.

  
“Oliver.”

  
Connor had walked right up to us. Clothes soiled from dirt and grass.

  
“Connor, look at you…” Oliver’s first instinct is to call the kid off on the way he gotten himself so dirty.

  
“… the kid who had the most fun in the entire park.” I cut Oliver’s scalding before it even begins and earn a shining smile from Connor and an upset look from Oliver.

  
“Want to go home?”

  
“Can we?"

  
Oliver keeps holding me tight. I guess is not all that ready to end the afternoon but a look to Connor and I start to see the shivering.

  
“Of course. I’m a little cold myself.” I tell him while I get up.

  
Oliver’s looks up to me appalled. I turn to kiss him, with a smile and a wink I make sure he understands I’m lying for Connor’s sake.

  
“If you both want to go let me pack.”

  
Connors is full blown shivering now.

  
“Do you mind if I wait in the car?”

  
“Alone?”

  
“Connor, would you mind keeping me company.”

  
With the best impression of chevelary he can conjure Connor takes my hand and we get to the car.  
The heater is a welcome blessing for Connor.

  
“Felicity. May I ask you something?”

  
“Anything you want.”

  
“You want to be my mother?”

  
“You have a mother that loves you, Connor. I will never take her place.”

  
“Then, if Oliver is my father, what will you be?”

  
“What ever you want me to be, Connor. I just want you and Oliver to be happy and have a place in both your lives.”

  
Oliver is coming back to the car.

  
“I want you both in my life too. But I love my mother.”

  
“As you should, Connor. As we all love our mothers.”

  
“You have a mother? I mean is she still…”

  
“I know what you are asking. Yes I have a mother.”

  
“Can I meet her one day?”

  
“I’m sure you will. And you are going to make my life a living hell together.”

  
“Who’s going to make your life a living hell?” Oliver start the motor running.

  
“My mother and Connor in the same house.”

  
Oliver laughs

  
“That is really going to be hell.”

  
“But a real fun hell. Specially for you Connor.”

  
I can almost feel Connor jumping from excitement.

  
“When?”

  
“In a few weeks.”

 

 

We are alone, Connor is sleeping, is last night before going back to Central City, when Oliver finally asks the question that has been troubling his mind.

  
“Your mother is coming? When did you invite her?”

  
“I didn't. But as soon as she's in the know about the baby you can be sure she will get here faster than Flash.”

  
“Can’t you stop her… never mind I know the answer to my own question.”

  
I move setting myself in his lap.

  
“I seem to remember being interrupted this afternoon at the park.”

 


End file.
